Is it normal to realize how awful i really am?

The first step is to admit you have a problem...now go get help.

You should start making amends

It's not to late for giving up and letting go...

Growing up

Before your too far gone

At least you are self-aware. Just don't pity yourself, lest that be the cherry on top of your horrible personality.

You still have it in your power to not be a Dick. adapt yourself to positive behaviors and eventually they well become second nature.

It's normal to think about the kind of person you are. It's normal to come to an honest conclusion about yourself and if you've been as unpleasant as you say then it's normal that you would have the kind of time alone with yourself to that would provoke that kind of thinking. Just remember, we can't all be Mary Poppins or Ghandi, always got to be the dark to recognize the light.

Thank you everyone, for the encouragement and kindness.

I am going to try harder to turn myself around. I don't want to be such a bad person. Supportive people like you all make this feel much more attainable.

So thanks :)

It's good to recognise your flaws, even better to strive to improve them. There most be a part of you, your moral and ethical compass, that recognises these traits as negative, as "awful", hence your revelation.

Obviously it's your prerogative, but if you think these personalty problems are actually holding you back in some way, stopping your life from being as good as it could be, then see if you can change your bad habits :)

It is normal. Now that you have realized you are doing nothing but bad throughout your life, go and get some help. Start being nice to people, start making friends, control your anger and frustration. If you want to be in a relationship, you should be 100% loyal to them. You can be cynical because we live in an imperfect world. Take that word 'hate' out of your life. People do drugs and have sex but it's not your business but let me assure you they are not some disgusting creatures.If a person uses drugs doesn't mean that he/she is a bad person. You can either embrace or reject religion but hate is a strong word to use in a civilized society.I don't understand why you hate animals? What have they done to you? Go out and have some fun. I was almost like you a few years ago but I am trying to change and believe me change is good. :)

Well....... Since your a dick to everyone....... you should wipe yourself out of this planet so everyone can begin to forget about the horrible memories you gave them of you!

what's you're username? do you have iin gold?

The fact that you have lost friends means they weren't true friends. Your not a horrible person nobody should feel like that you will have your screw ups but everyone does don't think your the only one. Life goes on I know you said you hate religion but God doesn't put you through anything you can't handle maybe him showing this side of you is his way of telling you its okay to be you and you can change. You said that whatever you do in a relationship pisses the person off well then you need to find someone who has more in common with you I know I can't really say that because I don't know who you date and all that but you should try to focus on personality I know everyone loves when there bf/gf is good looking but maybe instead of going for a super hot person go for a cute person who you have alot in common with, if that doesnt work maybe try changing your preference woth girls again I dont know who you date and what you look for I'm just trying to help.

Now call all the friends you lost and see how many give a crap, see how worthy you are..

Its all in your mind.

is this my ex??? lol but seriously just by realizing your the one at fault your half way there :) and tbh society is messed up with the government trying to make us all conform to a "normal" behavior what ever that is?? but we are all individual so till your in a grave there is always time to meet like minded people, or maybe you dont need to change your ways you just need find people who treat you as poorly as you feel you treat others

you have to control yourself, and recreate yourself with patience.

Most of that can be a pluss if you know what you're doing.

Poor moonbow.