Is it normal to realise i'm a boring person?

I find it hard to strike up conversation with anyone, because in my head I feel as if asking a friend to go see a movie or meet up for my birthday would be an inconvenience to them. If they say yes it's just because they are being polite. No one particularly cares about me in any way more than they are obliged to, and I don't blame them -- everyone has their own problems. I have a handful of friends who I never really see anymore in real life and have never had a girlfriend.

My brain forces me to try and please everyone, so I never carve out a 'personality' for myself in the way I see others doing. I don't know if most people even know I have a personality. And I'm not sure I do. I generally do nothing other than go to work and watch tv/browse the internet/sleep. I'm tired all the time and can barely find the energy to clean my room until it's disgustingly dirty. If I didn't get hungry I probably wouldn't bother eating - I already often skip lunch or dinner because I can't be fucked.

I feel like a whiny bitch posting this, but I'm interested if anyone else has the feeling that they're just a boring person. It's not really a sad feeling, just a realisation that maybe the reason no one wants to talk to me particularly is that they wouldn't be missing much.

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 19 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • You might want to consider talking to a professional, like a psychiatrist? Those symptoms sound a lot like depression, and you just might be able to get some professional help. Hope it works out bud.

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    • I don't think it's depression, although it's hard to know. I don't particularly want to talk to a psychiatrist at this stage. Thank you for your concern.

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  • daydreamer394

    I relate to this a lot.
    I dream of adventure and delve into fiction to escape the monotony of reality.
    I still think I bore other people, but thankfully I am a solitary soul and have helped myself by broadening my interests. Lucky, really, because I have no friends.
    I do feel like a robot sometimes. Working makes me forget about things and it makes me feel like I'm doing something useful.
    I fear being burdensome. I have actually used the exact same phrase as you: everyone has their own problems. I don't even blame people for not caring about me. I have tried to care about myself in order to get by, though I do form attachments to people in spite of myself.

    I don't think you are being whiny.

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  • missy911

    If you are living on your own, you might consider looking for a household living environment.

    Some people just don't do well living by themselves.

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  • Splithead

    Figure out what you like to do and do it. Anything, even if it's not cool or your not good at it. It really doesn't matter. Truth is, if your good at something you can find a way to make it cool
    Or find people who already do like it. The thing is that you just need to put your time I to developing a skill. Once you do that, find abother one, then another. Try to say yes to new opportunities whenever you can, anything thats new and wont make you too uncomfortable you should give a shot. I once had the realization that I didn't really kniw who I was, it was just as you said. I was trting to please so many people that I didbt really carve out a personality for myself. Thing is, wheather you try to please everyone or you don't give a fuck about it, you'll generslly please the same ammount of people. The only way to please less people is to actively try to displease them but you really can't please more than average no matter what you do. If you're a people pleaser like I was then you'll probably be familiar with the situation where you do something you don't want to do just to make someone happy and they get pissed anyway. That's the double loss right there and ithighlichts what I'm talking about. Realize that you ccan't make more people happy by being yourself really, thats not always true. However you won't really piss off more people either and you'll waste less energy focussing on it.

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    • I really appreciate this advice. I've been trying to say yes to things more, but sometimes I just can't handle new social interactions and have no energy to do things outside my comfort zone. Rationally I know I should be more assertive and go to join meetups etc. but my rational brain and my fight-or-flight brain aren't the same, and it sucks.

      It's a vicious circle where I feel too shitty to ask people whether I can join in with their activities or accept the (rare) invitations I get, and then declining makes me feel even worse which means I'm bound to decline again the next time. I see it happening and can't do anything to stop it (other than whine to strangers on this website, ugh).

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  • Splithead

    TLDR

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  • daydreamer394

    You sound interesting to me.
    You are certainly not the only one.

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    • Thank you.

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  • BadaBoom

    What you have written is basically the story of my life until I was 20 years old. You see, the perception of being boring is all very relative. Though I concur entirely with what you have written, you might sound boring in relation to people who differ from you, but that doesn't mean that you are "boring". The question is, are you letting yourself be a "fun" person? Judging by your struggles, it is difficult to imagine that you are (trust me, I have endured experiences VERY similar to yours) and cultivating friendships are very important, whether you realize it or not. However, you must not stick to the same old friends. If you can, try taking up new friendships. Discern some common interests with other people and try taking that relationship to a real, fixed friendship. That is basically how I made all my friends in college. With the incessant ramblings of mine over with, I hope I could be of some help :)

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    • The problem is meeting new people outside of college. I made a few friends at college and do still keep in touch but I have the nagging feeling that they don't particularly care about me. If I want to meet others I need to be proactive and it's very hard.

      Reading these responses has made me feel a bit better - I was pretty low when I wrote this post yesterday. Thanks everyone.

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