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I'm a 41 year old female who has recently ( one year and a half ago) lost my only child. She was 18 years old. It seems that ever since this tragedy has happened, I seem to want to avoid my family altogether. It doesn't make sense to me. It would seem I would be the complete opposite. Do you think this is normal?
It sounds like you just want some space to deal with it all. I don't think you've fully recovered from the loss and perhaps you don't want to face the world until you have. You don't want people telling you to forget about it and you definitely don't want to fake happiness. In all honesty, I think you're normal, but just keep in mind that your daughter wasn't just your world, your parents probably loved her too, and her dad. Maybe you're not the only one who still hasn't gotten over it, and it might be good to realize that other people are probably just as shooken up as you.
It's good to have your space, I am so sorry for your loss and I'm sure everyone in your family understands. If you start contacting them again, they should welcome you with open arms, if they decline you they are arrogant pieces of f*ck and you don't need people like that in your life. Are you spiritual? You could try contacting her through that way.
It doesn't sound too out of the norm to me. You may still be in a depressive state from what happened and wanting to be alone is pretty common for people who are depressed.