Is it normal to pretend you're a pirate

85% Normal
6 Comments

So I have had frequent and persistant pirate fetishes since I hit puberty. My neighbor let me borrow both of his boats. The other day I arranged to have my girlfriend of 5 years set sail on one of the fishing boat in a lake nearby. As she was drifting about 50 feet from the shore I roared around the corner in my best pirate attire with my skull and bones flag flying loud and proud. I eventually chased her boat down and cornered her near the shore, once she was immobile I hopped aboard, pillaged her boat, parted her sea legs, and plundered her booty for every last treasure till I shivered my timbers.
Afterwards we went to the nearest pub and spliced the main brace and stumbled home absolutely loaded to the gun walls.
Our relationship has been amazing since then.

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 27 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • shorty295
    9 years ago

    I like to pirate the internet.

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  • handsignals
    9 years ago

    *unzips*

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  • Morgan_Freeman
    9 years ago

    "parted her sea legs, and plundered her booty for every last treasure till I shivered my timbers" that is the best thing i have ever read.

    Narrated by Morgan Freeman.

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  • megadriver
    9 years ago

    Cool! If I could pop back in time, I'd be a pirate. Get as much booty as possible. Both material and the other kind XD
    Besides, I got an idea for a fullproof pirate ship that the weapons of the "pirate era" can't sink. The ship would be much faster and even incorporate a steam engine. One could be built even with their tech... It would run on alcohol and wood/ coal.

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  • seekelp
    9 years ago

    And you didn't even swab her poop deck? For shame, sir.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    9 years ago

    yep i chaw a buncha khat put a rag on my head grab my RPG and jump in my zodiac lookin for white peoples to kidnap and ransom

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