Is it normal to pretend my friends are dead?

It started in high school, I always had a thing for gore. Not a sexual thing, just seeing the blood splash out. I know its a sociopathic behavior, I know it makes me look insane. But it started after my sister graduated high school (she is 3 years older), My mother had taken her to receive help for her cutting. I just had this weird fetish for the cuts on her wrist when I was a freshman. The skin dried, it wasn't a turn on... I just loved seeing it. When I started to draw anatomy in my freshman art classes, I got really into gore and cutting, and blades piercing through people. It gave me a weird tingling feeling in my stomach, like I could feel whatever what killing them was in My body. A friend of mine got really into horror movies in her sophmore year. And we would always watch them, I started to draw her as the victoms. Then it progressed to all of my friends. But it wasn't only in art, i would dream about them dying off during classes. Going into my first year of college (undetermined major) I have not told anyone. Is it normal to want to see your friends almost broken, without regrets until you finish the piece. I feel like in insane artist. Is it normal?