Is it normal to plan intricate details into breaking up with someone?

84% Normal
12 Comments

I'm currently in a long distance relationship with a girl who lives pretty far away and I want to break up with her because it's been hard to manage.

And the thing that motivates me most to commit to this is the fact that everytime she goes to a party, she always ends up making out with another guy (and getting felt up etc.) but her excuse is that she was 'drunk' and unable to control herself.

I've had enough of these excuses and I've been through loads of these occasions so I want to end it all. Painfully.

It seems a bit sad and one can almost feel sympathy towards her but I've become emotionless; I have no feelings for her (as a result of the above) so breaking up with her shouldn't be a problem for me.

In summary of my plan, I plan to act really affectionately towards her before the next party (next week) and after the party, where I expect the same result, I shall break it to her and close all connections immediately without negotiation. I plan it to be like a tonne of bricks.

Now, this begs the usual question, is this normal?

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 32 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    Yeah, I have done the same thing. I had a boyfriend who was violent, not towards me but violent and he would act out and get into trouble. He'd start fights and lose his temper frequently. I wanted to break up with him because I totally lacked feelings for him anymore.

    He was the type where he had tons of people that wanted to help him and would bend over backwards for him because he was born into an unfortunate situation, then he'd fuck them all over with his decisions and then complain about how his life sucked. I was tired of him. I was REALLY tired of him but every time I tried to end it he'd get... emotional.

    So I waited until he threw his next temper tantrum and sure enough, he got into a fight where charges were pressed. I told him that I couldn't reconcile with his temper and all of the trouble that he got himself into and the argument (which was over the phone) made him lose his temper and break up with ME. I knew he was going to threaten to, as usual, and this time, instead of conceding, I told him "fine".

    To this day I still get angry texts from him about how I'm a bitch. This shit was almost 4 years ago. Some people just make themselves difficult.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Sounds like you want a little revenge for being treated so carelessly. There's nothing wrong with that, although, it will never be as satisfying as you imagine it will be.

    You're fooling yourself about having feelings for her, otherwise you would not go through the trouble of making these "intricate" plans to break up with her. Be honest with yourself. You've been hurt, taken advantage of, and you are probably a little pissed about it - those are still feelings and it's normal.

    In the future, I hope you find someone who treats you with more care.

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    • Anon5726
      11 years ago

      Thanks.

      Well when I said I had no feelings for her, I meant that there were absolutely no positive feelings for her such as affection of any kind.

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    11 years ago

    Sooo...even though she KNOWS she cant control herself she does NOTHING about it? Man do i feel bad for you... Pls do us the honor. Lifes to short to worry about some unloyal little girls, shes waste of your youth, and time. Let her fuck up some other guy, karma is one big bitch.

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    • Anon5726
      11 years ago

      Thanks man, I'll take that on board and deliver what's necessary.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Do it you need to skype her while fucking someone else.

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    I think you should take the high road and just be respectful in ending it. It might feel good now to make a spectacle out of this, but it won't serve you as well in the long run.

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    • Anon5726
      11 years ago

      Well I'm not intending it to be a spectacle but more like a swift and sharp blow. Something that would get me out of it without much hassle for myself.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers
    11 years ago

    Not sure i've never broken up with anyone but I just got a text one evening. Lowest way of doing it

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    • Anon5726
      11 years ago

      You've just given me a good idea. I'll text her a breakup message.

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  • solytis
    11 years ago

    You say that you don't have feelings for her anymore, but it seems like you were jealous, if you hadn't feeling for her you wouldn't care about what is she doing

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    • Anon5726
      11 years ago

      Well let me rephrase what I just said - I have no positive feelings for her (i.e. affection)

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