Is it normal to only take what's offered/ not chase hot girls?

86% Normal
5 Comments

Okay so I'm an introspective person and I've hit a point where the narrative I tell myself about my thought process is starting to seem like a cover for whats really happening. Help me out.

I used to be an ugly dude, now I'm quite handsome and I work out. My taste in girls has not changed much though. I've always been attracted to nerdy girls for a ton of personality reasons.

I thought this was just me not being a dick and realizing that my type is just an alt looking girl. The problem is, when I look back, I've only had crushes or had sex with girls who had crushes on me. In fact I've never successfully attracted a specific girl of my own volition. I've never pointed out one and then made her love me. Now a lot of people say you just have to see if shes interested and if not go away... but on the same token there are was to get a girl interested in you when you first meet. The girls I've had sex with... only 3, have literally thrown themselves at me. Not saying I've had sex with every girl who was interested but, I've never gone up to a woman and made something happen myself. Now I realize that when I look around I classify women weirdly, there's a level of attractive where I say damn shes so hot... and without being scared or anything i kind of dismiss her as being "too hot to waste all that effort on". basically i recognize that whatever type of person she is, god or bad, shes so used to guys hitting on her that it will take forever either way. the girls im interested in are more hidden gems, hot librarians, the girl with the nice ass that just wears sweats and glasses, the girl with the awesome rack who wears turtle necks. It's funny because low self esteem is still a turnoff to me but still...

Am I just lazy? Am I just going for low hanging fruit? Has my past conditioned me to write off hot girls who I secretly don't think I can get? Am I settling? Am I being irrational in assuming that more attractive girls will have way higher expectations for me and far fewer of themselves?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 14 votes (12 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • VinnyB
    9 years ago

    "The problem is, when I look back, I've only had crushes or had sex with girls who had crushes on me. In fact I've never successfully attracted a specific girl of my own volition."

    If they had a crush on you then you attracted them. You don't have to be trying to make someone attracted to you in order to attract someone.

    "the girls im interested in are more hidden gems, hot librarians, the girl with the nice ass that just wears sweats and glasses, the girl with the awesome rack who wears turtle necks."

    If these are the girls you are interested in, then go for them. Who cares why you are attracted to them, what would that knowledge change? Why are you worried about attracting girls you are not interested in, just because you think you should be interested in them?

    That just all seems a bit silly and immature. Don't over think it, it's not that serious. If you are into a girl, and she is into you, don't question it, enjoy it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Shrunk
    9 years ago

    Meh, I'm like that too... I don't really have a desire for someone who wouldnt talk to me first... Maybe it's kinda messed up but I have no strong desire for anything in this life so I figure I might as well... give away myself (that sounds bad but I don't mean like a whore haha) but only to people I feel "deserve" it... ie. Anyone who proves to be genuinely nice and respectful... They deserve happiness for being a good person regardless if they are "undesirable" for whatever reason and if they want it from me I feel obligated to give it to them... Maybe You feel something like that too idk if it's normal or just laziness like you said lol

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Splithead
      8 years ago

      Damn, I've never said it out loud but its spot on. I used to be ugly and i'm pretty handsome now. I'm a good looking guy with a good personality who actually has the ability to fall for a girls personality so I tend to actually look for the personality. Also on the desire front... I have a really low libido so my physical standards aren't crazy, given my way i'd spend far more time talking with a girl than banging. It actually makes me really good in bed because I pretty much don't cum and I have a ton of stamina. My record is 6 hours or so. That said, I only ever want to have sex when a girl says something that shows me shes a good person. Other than that its kind of forced. Point is, as douchey as it sounds... i don't think i'm gods gift to women, but I do see myself as kind of a reward, only for those that want me though. Guess that's wh I act this way, I cant help but think that's a bit fucked up or that I'm repressing my own desires.... or maybe that I just get off on being what a girl really really wants. Dunno, I just feel like I should be going after girls for... more common reasons.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • LizardSkin
    9 years ago

    I don't mind expressing interest, but chasing after someone is out of the question. It's a fools errand to try and convince someone to be interested in you.

    A major part of a connection is having an expressed interest reciprocated.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Lonely2
    9 years ago

    Yeah Im like that..its a self esteem thing for me...i belive its basically fruitless thinking i can win someone over

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0