Is it normal to only be married because we have kids..

69% Normal
8 Comments

I've been married for 10 years, together for 15. We didn't marry because of kids and in the past 10 years we've had some rocky times but both would agree we didnt stay together because of our children. However, this past year my husband has done some things that are very harmful to our marriage. I'm having a hard time getting over.
Today I said to myself "If we didnt have kids, I would have Totally left him. So why am I still here?". I'm kind of feeling unsure of my emotions right now so I'm reaching out for comments or advice.
Is it normal to realize Im only with him because we have kids?

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 51 votes (35 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 8 )
  • ccjigsaw
    12 years ago

    Woowww, that sounds hard. You know what I would 100% so in this situation? No offence to your husband, but he sounds like a raging asshole who's goven up on your marriage. Withhold sex unless you want it. He doesn't deserve it since he's getting it else where anyways. I wouldn't be happy about my man going to a strip club, no matter how "Normal" It is. No, I say Fuck him. (Not in a sexual sense) Get your own damn life, join some club, go to the bars once in a while, invest in a baby sitter so you can go out and forget that asshole. You don't have to cheat, or be untrue, just detach yourself. Maybe enter into dance classes, ballroom dance with a random guy. COuld be fun ;) I'm SO sorry to hear about your situation, but I strongly advise you to not let this ruin your life

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • tiffunny5
      12 years ago

      Thank you for your comment :-)

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • suckonthis9
    12 years ago

    I noticed that you didn't specify what your husband did, that was harmful to your marriage.
    If you need to resolve this problem, you will need to bring this out into the open. Either with your husband or someone else.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • tiffunny5
      12 years ago

      Things like..
      He went to a strip club a few times. I didnt find out about until months later. Than he Continued to go against my wishes.

      He slept in the same room with a female coworker, just them alone and they didnt have too. He swears that nothing happend.

      He text some girl he just met that night -"I cant sleep can you help me?" and "I want to listen to you get off". Months later... he tells me they actually met a few times because they have A mutual friend.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • suckonthis9
        12 years ago

        Many married men go to strip clubs. That, in itself is acceptable as long as he only looks at the dancers and doesn't touch them. Some married men's wives actually prefer their husbands to get lap dances at strip clubs because it makes their sex life more exciting.
        The female co-worker he slept with. He lied to you, something sexual did happen. She gave him oral sex. She swallowed your husband's cum.
        The female that your husband is texting has not had a physical sexual encounter yet. They have had sex together, but only with the mind. Our brains are the most sexual organ.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • tiffunny5
          12 years ago

          I appreciate your blunt Opinion. Thanks.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
      • tiffunny5
        12 years ago

        We dont live in the same state, due to his job. He comes home about one week a month. So I have No idea of whats going on in that small oil field boom town :/

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • NeuroNeptunian
          12 years ago

          I see why you're upset.

          Yes, I see this as normal. I have many friends in your position, some of them married their mates BECAUSE they had kids and are now batshit miserable. It's a normal thing to do to "keep the family together", but only if you are capable of enduring for 18+ years...

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          1
          1