Is it normal to only be attracted to people that have issues?

It could be that you have a helper fixation. It could also be that people who are messed up often tend to be messed up in intriguing ways. Let's face it -- someone who's entirely normal in every way is quite possibly a little dull. Someone with issues could add interest to your otherwise rather sedate lifestyle.

While I don't think you're abnormal, I also think you might want to think a little more deeply about what draws you to people with problems. Maybe it isn't the problems but the other characteristics that go along with them that make a person interesting to you, and by knowing that, you can look for those traits in more stable people.

tommythecat would eat you for breakfast. Literally.

Everybody has issues. Some are just more pronounced than others.

Every guy wants to play prince charming on a white horse, saving their damsel in distress. It's normal, a lot of people are the same.

Maybe it's your drive to help people that keeps getting you into these kind of situations.

maybe they see you the same way. like attracts like and unlike attracts like also.

I have issues myself and I can understand this, i dont really know what the attraction is tbh.

u may b attracted to the drama of it all. ur own life is stable and u feel in control but wen it cums down to it u enjoy the kaos of it all.

Ok, speaking from the other side. It does seem to be normal. I've had way too many friends end up attracted to me. I am odd and I do have my issues, they usually fall for me because I'm different, I see things differently, I experience things differently, I challenge their opinions and dare them to have open minds to see the world through another set of eyes.

I guess they fall for me because of the way i treat them. everyone has issues, some can be simple/easy to deal with while others can be devastating and just too complicated to handle. When I spend time with someone, I listen to them, I try to see them... not for what I want them to be but for what they are and maybe what they someday hope to be. In life we never know if someone is being heard or ignored by the rest of the world so if they feel I can see them and hear them and not let them feel neglected by me then I am the friend I want to be.

I'm not an easy friend to get along with by far, but I am a friend for life.

My advice to you from a really "issuated me" is only do it if you don't lose yourself in the process. If you believe it will make you a better person in the end, more understanding but never let their issues become your own. Most of all set boundaries for yourself so you don't get hurt. Giving 100% of yourself constantly and always getting disappointed in the end is a great way to develop issues yourself and lose trust in others. Know your limits and how far you should go to help someone else before you end up sacrificing yourself for another.

ruinedx

It's completely normal, many people are the same. I must admit that I have felt that way too in the past, yet, I don't do it anymore.

The thing with people with issues is that... someday they will get over their issues and get better... later, they will change their lives... but might not include you in their new life. Afterall, the "helpers" usually remind these people of their own depressive pasts.

sure it is normal you'll have to get use to being let down

I don't know how normal (or healthy, for that matter) it is, but I have to say it's thanks to people like you that people like me can get at least a little bit of joy in our lives, so thank you.

Well I'm attracted to ugly people so maybe it's the same thing? For some reason I feel like you, being attracted to people with issues means you a)are attracted to the mysterious or b)you want to feel more in charge, by being the "sane" or "normal" person in the relationship.

Or maybe you just want someone unique with a story to tell, rather than the captain of the football team. :]

So you love me then?

Seems like you're the one who has some issues now. I say don't offer your help to others unless they ask for it. Aside from that, I think you should go back to being the nice, stable person that you were before you met these people. By the way I don't think you're weird, I think you're just an optimist who was crushed by life. But please don't become a cynic.