Is it normal to not want your gf to get accepted into a college?...

59% Normal
14 Comments

Ok, ive been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and I recently realized that I love her. We are really happy together, we havent even had a fight yet and we get along so well. I'm sure this relationship could last a long time. BUT, she got accepted into a university which is 5 hours away from where i live. She applied before we were official. Thing is if her marks go down they will retract her spot and she'll stay. I'm really scared that this will put a strain on or ruin our relationship. It is normal that I dont want her to get in even if thats what she wants?

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 58 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • changes123
    11 years ago

    My best friend applied to Columbia and for a couple of weeks I was wishing she didn't go, even if it was her dream school. I felt so guilty later on, and disgusted with myself for being selfish... I couldn't live with myself. I know how you feel, you want to be happy for them but then again it's selfish. Just realize that their dream is important too! Life goes on and you should with yours. That won't stop you from being with each other.

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  • HigherCalling
    11 years ago

    It's "normal," but it's also very selfish. If you truly love her, you'll support her and encourage her. She needs that, just as you do.

    Relationships work best when there is an equal amount of giving and taking. Talk to her about your feelings. Remember to use "I" statements (i.e., I feel as though my needs are being ignored), and avoid accusations. Communication and compromise are key.

    Good luck!

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  • xxxlostxxxforeverxxx
    12 years ago

    thats so sweet & romantic. ur gf is very lucky <3

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  • VoLoPoK
    13 years ago

    i feel the same way

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  • jrphotographer
    13 years ago

    Aww <3

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I think it's normal to be nervous/anxious about your girlfriend leaving and bring 5 hours away, but it is good you aren't trying to sway her decision, because it iss herr decision.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Do you love her, or covet her? Odd how your recent revelation of love came after her acceptance to university.

    Back off, make no waves, and don't you dare torpedo that girl emotionally in an effort to sabotage her marks and academic plans! That would be most selfish and unloving.

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    • ali_boy
      14 years ago

      and i try VERY hard to not show that it bothers me, I don't want to make her feel guilty.

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    • ali_boy
      14 years ago

      Ollieo, I realized I was in love with her almost 2 MONTHS after she got accepted into that particular university. And please fuck off, I would never do anything to sabotage her marks, I've always tried to not get in the way of her school, I've even helped her with some assignments and a project, which she did very well on.

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  • ali_boy
    14 years ago

    I AM in college.

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    it's normal to feel the way you do, but, you should be supportive in her schooling.

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  • SweetAdeline
    14 years ago

    It's normal, but it isn't right. If this girl's grades decline because she is spending so much time with you and she doesn't get into the university of her choice, she will blame you. Even if she goes to a college closer to home and the two of you go on to get married, she will always blame you for what "might have been." Don't interfere. If you are meant for each other, the fact she's five hours away isn't going to make a difference. If you aren't meant to be together, it's better you find out now.

    If you truly want this girl, you should be thinking about where YOU will be attending college. Sounds like she's planning to make a success of her life, she isn't going to want a man who isn't equally successful.

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  • KimmyKhaosXD
    14 years ago

    yes, it is normal. but if you love her you need to think ahead, what if she doesn't go to that college for you guys relationship, and you guys break up? her going to that college could change her life for the better. stop being selfish, and do whats best for HER. youll find a way to see her I am sure. Why dont you try to get into the same college? jw...

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Yes, it's totally normal. You're worried that your relationship will be hurt by this change, that is *absolutely* normal. But, if you love someone, you have to remember to make sure that what they are doing is best for THEM, not always you. Five hours is a long way, but I'm sure you and her could work something out.

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