Is it normal to not want to talk with your natural father?

The life that you described pretty much sums up the life of the children of the Mistress, and your mother is your father's Mistress by the very definition of the word.

You're your father's child, but you aren't your father's family, and that has got to be a painful feeling.

I understand what you mean when you say you lack closure. My own Father left us and he disassociated with me, or at least, we don't talk and haven't for a year (before that we talked maybe once every few months, and briefly). He has been out of my life for over 6 years now and he has a new family, new wife, and her kids.

Sometimes, I too wish I had the same closure that children with deceased fathers have. I don't wish death on my Father but it's unsettling to know that he is out there enjoying his life and I'm not a part of it and that probably doesn't even bother him.

Your Mom is selfish. I'm sorry to say this, but she let it happen knowing that she probably wouldn't be able to have the normal family that she would have had had she waited for a SINGLE man to come along. Children are always the ones to suffer when selfish adults make selfish decisions and I am sorry that it has to be that way but I understand completely.

It's not. It's important to have a father figure especially if you are a boy. To be honest, I've always seen someone whose loving and nurturing and there most of the time as a father. But some men become busy with work. I don't know exactly what to tell you, but I think you should ask your Mom why she lets him do this, and why he doesn't break it off. Because this is unfair to her, and to you guys.

Just fuck and get it over with.

@: NeuroNeptunian
Thank you so much for understanding and telling your father-life experienced story. I don't even have those few rare talks you had the privillage of having with your natural father to appreciate. Hope you get used to whatever it is that will make your life happier.

@: Short4Words
I would ask her if I didn't know. Despite everything. I love my mom with all of my heart; I want to see her happy. My father makes her happy. As unfair as this is, everybody (me, my siblings, my father's wife, the children of my father's wife (cos we know each other and we actually communicate, they're cool)) knows that they cannot function well without each other (my mom and father). Understanding of how impossible it is to expect my father to leave his wife and marry my mom is too present. I am left here with the confusion of what it is that I'm complaining about cos we cannot judge people based on the irreversable things they have done in their past. It would also be unfair to my father's wife, cos she fell in love with my father before my mom got to meet him. We cannot choose who we fall in love with or our soul-mates (my mom and father). I just don't know how to make everything okay and that drives me up the wall ( ._.)

Shit's all sorts of fucked up.

'Lots of stuff I'm unable to do cos I lack a father figure'. This confused me. Like what?

My dad drank and smoked pot a fair bit when I was a kid. There were boat races on in another state around my birthday, every year, and he always went. He never came to any of my school graduations (because he didn't want to), any family event, never took me to the park or taught me to drive or did anything. He was just the grumpy man who lived with us, essentially. I see people who are really close to their Dad, and I'm jealous, but also just cannot fathom having that kind of relationship with my father. He's almost like a stranger.

It might not be normal for every family for their Dad to have two wives and two sets of kids, but it seems to be normal for your family. Talk to your Mum about it, and maybe even try talking to your Dad. Ask him why he thinks this is ok, tell him how it effects you. They are the only people who can help you change either the situation or how you feel about it.