Is it normal to not want to talk about death/loss in detail?

89% Normal
4 Comments

My mom has lately been trying to talk to me in significant detail about my dad and other family members when they died. Some of its really more than I ever needed to know and it upsets me alot.

When it got to be too much I finally just said (not rudely or anything) "Maybe its for the best if I don't know all this..."

And she got very angry at me and said don't talk to her about anything anymore. She knows I am a sensitive person and that this stuff is upsetting for me. It does not help me feel better to "talk it out" at all.

Is it normal to not want to discuss this stuff with her? My uncle (who I am fond of/fairly close to) was diagnosed with congestive heart failure this month and is already suffering alot mentally. (Physically...well hes lost weight but not in a healthy way.)

I don't really want painful memories brought up that dealt with others, this is bad enough as it is. It bothers me that she acts like i'm just ridiculous for not wanting to hear things that to some degree, I didn't even know in this amount of detail.

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 19 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    It's normal.

    Your mother is probably the one who wants to talk it out, since you're directly affected by the deaths like how she is, she may think you'll understand more than her friends. However, because you don't want to talk about may have made her feel rejected, which is why she got unreasonably upset.

    In your own words tell her this, "Mom, I am upset about deaths of everyone we love, I truly am. I'm just not ready to talk about them yet. Someday I will ask about everyone, just give me time."

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  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    Sounds very unfortunate. If your a adult you shouldn't have to put up with situations you find uncomfortable. Don't know what to tell you I would just distance myself from her or try to change the subject.

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    • Kura
      7 years ago

      I am an adult but I live with her you see. Don't have enough money to be on my own. And yeah thats what I normally would do but that pisses her off apparently.

      Shes basically like just talk about everything or talk about nothing. But doesn't everyone have a limit with family members and all? Theres certain things I could never say to her.

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      • mysistersshadow
        7 years ago

        I cut all ties with my family and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I hope you can find some peace. Good luck.

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