Is it normal to not want to struggle like that anymore?

Several years ago my wife and I had a big argument about the dumbest thing while vacationing at Niagara Falls. She becomes totally intractable at times and I can't even talk to her or reason with her because she gets really loud and says stuff like, "I can't believe you're making a scene right here in public", "people are looking at you", etc.
I became very angry. I didn't take her all the way to Niagara Falls for this.
I drove us to the motel, got out of the car and threw the keys at her and walked away. I headed for the falls.
I'm sure everybody who saw me could tell I was upset. I felt like everyone was watching me as I leaned on the railing a few feet away from the water pouring over the horseshoe falls.
I kept thinking it shouldn't be like this, after all these years together and still having these issues. It's never gonna end.
I wanted to jump so bad. I thought of my wife in the motel room watching TV, waiting for me to come back, wondering where I am, when the news flash comes on announcing that somebody just went over the falls. I kept wondering how many people are watching this angry looking guy? Is anybody going to grab me if I start to climb over the railing?
Then I remembered something I had read. Solomon, the world's wisest man wrote that, "a merry heart doeth good like a medicine"! Then I realized that the opposite is true also, an angry heart kills and destroys. I slowly began to see that the real problem wasn't my wife, but it's in my reaction to life's disappointments and struggles, and I decided I wanted to take control of my life, and live.
Anybody else have similar experiences?

Voting Results
96% Normal
Based on 23 votes (22 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 24 )
  • NeofelisNebulosa

    I needed to see this story. I've been ready to give up on everything but this made me feel a little better about it all.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • gloryholeflasher

      I'm happy for you! I've been ready to give up many times, but this incident at the Falls was the last time. I realized that we have to carefully guard our thoughts because THEY can take control and destroy us if we aren't careful. Angry thoughts pump toxins throughout our entire body so that we can't even see anything but problems and despair ahead. Happy thoughts enable us to see that our current problem is only temporary, and has a solution.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • thegypsysailor

    So, did you? What are you doing now?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • gloryholeflasher

      Did I what? Jump? No! Now I'm in control of my anger instead of letting it control me.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • thegypsysailor

        Damn, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUMP, for fux sake.
        Did you change your life, fix your relationship with your wife, dump your wife, get beyond life's disappointments and struggles?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • gloryholeflasher

          Sorry to piss you off. I was just being a smart ass. Yeah, we got our act together. Life is good! Thanks for your concern.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • thegypsysailor

            Terrific. I'm happy for you. It is nice when there is someone on here with something positive to post.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • gloryholeflasher

              TY

              Comment Hidden ( show )
  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    i kinda thought this were obvious and didnt need a religious text to tell me that bein positive makes for a good mood but nevertheless im glad yallre in a better way and didnt go chasin waterfalls

    if yallre happy and yall knows it clap yalls hands

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • gloryholeflasher

      Thanks!
      Didn't mean to be preachy. Just wanted to share some good free advice that helped me. A person could go to counciling for years and spend a lot of money and maybe not get as much help. It's not really in a counciler's best interest for their patients to get cured.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • ShadoClone

    Build yourself a new dream instead of aching over past disappointments.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • LuxM4G

    Well, you need to become more assertive, self-contained, self-assured. Can't let yourself be controlled by external forces(such as your wife). A wondrous quotation of King Solomon of Israel.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • linchpin

    Yeah man standing on edge of bridge should not be listening to House of Pain's "Jump around"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Ellenna

    I've found many, many times that in the absolute pits of despair there's ALWAYS something positive, not always when I believe I really need it but eventually, and often not where I expect or hope it to come from.

    Sometimes it's been a random conversation with a stranger at a bus stop or one line or paragraph in a book picked up in a second hand store or an unexpected phone call or visit from someone supportive.

    I have one book I return to again & again, either by picking it up or remembering its message: Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning". If a concentration camp survivor who lost his entire family in the Holocaust can later live a positive life, I guess I can too, his message being that there's one freedom no-one can ever take away from anyone, the freedom to decide how to respond to any given set of circumstances.

    OP's story is living proof of this and I feel I am too.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • gloryholeflasher

      Good point. Even when we have nothing else left in this world we still have the freedom to decide how to respond to that.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Ellenna

        That concept has got me through some very bad times and the book sits on my bedside table so it's the last thing I see at night and the first thing in the morning, just to remind me without even having to read it again

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • noid

    Thanks for a refreshingly good story on IIN.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • linchpin

      avoid the noid!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • noid

        Ha, that's kinda funny

        Comment Hidden ( show )
    • gloryholeflasher

      YW

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Short4Words

    Sounds about right.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • VirgilManly

    I heard a similar story but the woman ended up dismembered in a dumpster behind the motel.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • gloryholeflasher

      That wasn't us!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Darkoil

    I never get angry or upset at anything.

    Comment Hidden ( show )