Is it normal to not want to struggle like that anymore?
Several years ago my wife and I had a big argument about the dumbest thing while vacationing at Niagara Falls. She becomes totally intractable at times and I can't even talk to her or reason with her because she gets really loud and says stuff like, "I can't believe you're making a scene right here in public", "people are looking at you", etc.
I became very angry. I didn't take her all the way to Niagara Falls for this.
I drove us to the motel, got out of the car and threw the keys at her and walked away. I headed for the falls.
I'm sure everybody who saw me could tell I was upset. I felt like everyone was watching me as I leaned on the railing a few feet away from the water pouring over the horseshoe falls.
I kept thinking it shouldn't be like this, after all these years together and still having these issues. It's never gonna end.
I wanted to jump so bad. I thought of my wife in the motel room watching TV, waiting for me to come back, wondering where I am, when the news flash comes on announcing that somebody just went over the falls. I kept wondering how many people are watching this angry looking guy? Is anybody going to grab me if I start to climb over the railing?
Then I remembered something I had read. Solomon, the world's wisest man wrote that, "a merry heart doeth good like a medicine"! Then I realized that the opposite is true also, an angry heart kills and destroys. I slowly began to see that the real problem wasn't my wife, but it's in my reaction to life's disappointments and struggles, and I decided I wanted to take control of my life, and live.
Anybody else have similar experiences?