Is it normal to not want to impose my "will" onto the person i love?

36% Normal
4 Comments

Is it normal to always give in, always be accommodating, always change yourself for the love of your life because you feel you need to and that its the right thing to do, all the time, without fail?

i feel depressed at some of the things i have felt i had to bend on, but as long as our love flourishes, it is worth it, right?.....i just need to learn to get over myself and not fight change so that our love has a chance.

Voting Results
36% Normal
Based on 22 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You shouldn't have to do whatever your partner wants all the time. Relationships should give and take equally.
    What you describe is not love. It's dependency and it's very unhealthy. If someone loves you they wont expect you do everything they say. Someone who loves you wont expect you to change and can be told no.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    10 years ago

    i can't seem to say no to anyone......when i do, i feel like the most selfish person in the world and to me, selfishness is the worst thing that i could be ever (other people can be selfish and i will still defend them.....but me, never....i am evil and worthy of death if i am ever selfish....i live my life to never be selfish ever)

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      What makes you think the rules are different for you than anyone else?

      There's a big difference between what's selfish and what's doing something for yourself. You have to do things for yourself and it's not healthy to not do things for yourself.

      Doing things for yourself doesn't make you selfish.

      You can't do much for others if you don't help yourself too.

      They explain this well in the airplane evacuation manuals on the planes. In an emergency you have to help yourself first, because if you die first you have helped nobody.

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  • Wierdmyself
    10 years ago

    It's normal to want to... but no its not a good thing.

    I had a girlfriend who I loved very dearly, I wanted to date her... she wouldn't, all she would do was sexting and phone-calls. There was no date, no us time (she was in a relationship "which she kept promising she would end"). I was naughty thing that got her blood flowing, probably the only streak of disobedience she could do at the time (I imagine she was hurting her boyfriend, she lied about him too).

    I twisted myself, till I had to beg her to go out with me... she still wouldn't (always an excuse).

    That wasn't love, and what your describing isn't love either... even if you go out on dates. You should be able to ask things of you partner, and he/she should be able to ask thing of you. Give/take so to speak.

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