Is it normal to not want to have sex with someone i'm attracted to?

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6 Comments

So a bit of background, I'm an 18 year old male, and my friend, 20 year old female and I are in this kind of unusual position where we're both aware that we like each other but not at the point where we're considering ourselves in a relationship yet. (TW for sexual assault) When I was 14 I was sexually abused regularly for 9 or so months, this has put me off sex and sexual behaviours almost entirely, even now after copious therapy and medications. I'm worried that if we do get together it might be uncomfortable when it comes to sexual behaviours as I just can't make myself interested in any of that at all, despite the fact that I really do like this person a lot. When it comes to other men they all seem almost more interested in sex than connections, and I'm worried I'll come across as weird for being the opposite. Thanks for the help.

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86% Normal
Based on 7 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    Under the circumstances, and taking into account your past trauma you are normal.

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  • dimwitted
    4 years ago

    Take it slow. Be patient with yourself. There's no rush.

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  • d0esnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    Idk man. If you have already done therapy I don't know what to tell ya. I would say just go for it and you will probably be fine but don't count on that. I don't really see your other options though.

    One thing I do know, is that I highly doubt she would be turned off by your lack of obsession with sex. That's pretty rare so I wouldn't not do it because of that.

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  • ellnell
    4 years ago

    I am the same. I haven't been through any sexual abuse but I cannot have sex with someone regardless of how attracted I am to them, I have to really trust them first.
    I've always put it off as being some type of anxiety-related thing.
    I don't think this makes you weird, everyone has different level sexual drive. I personally prefer the men who are more interested in me as a human being first.
    But you should seek therapy for what you've been through.

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  • halvid
    4 years ago

    you could possibly be asexual, but as far as i know, this doesn't quite sound like it.

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  • sarcastic00
    4 years ago

    i think you should definitely go to therapy and talk about what you've been through, try to understand it because it could seriously damage you mentally and block you from living your life well.

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