Is it normal to not want to be like your parents?

95% Normal
12 Comments

When we were kids my parents taught us to behave correctly, tried to give us education, and also told us about being good people ... but they both have always being somewhat strict and complicated, years later they started having severe financial problems, started arguing about virtually everything, stop talking to each other ... recently their problems started getting worse to the point of divorce (they're still onto that) and in the process they started to break many of the values and rules they always told us to follow.
This problem got their worst side (they lied about many thing but keep doing them, they did bad things just for revenge, betrayed their own morals) I tried many times to talk with them about some of thing that were not right but they wouldn't listen and said that they were right and i was too young to understand ...
The problem is that they did some of the things that never before I would have tough they could do, and when I asked if they would change anything they said they would do it again ...
I always loved my parents but seeing how they have ended up recently makes me think that i don't want to be like them (either because of how they are behaving now or because they may have lied the whole time about the values they taught us..)
Is it normal to not wanting to be like them?

Voting Results
95% Normal
Based on 39 votes (37 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously
    8 years ago

    I love my parents. They gave me the gift of life. They did their best in raising me only human after all and of course they made some huge mistakes along the way. Now I'm an adult their job of parenting is over and I get to decide what I am going to think, choose, be. People who live their adult lives blaming their parents need to understand they have a choice. Victim or Survivor.

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    • outcast92
      8 years ago

      Actually the question wasn't focused towards whether or not we blame our parents for our adult life, 'cause you're right we all are responsible for what we choose to do and how to overcame that ... The point was more about how we end up repeating what we learned/saw/lived and we are not able to realize that ...

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    • Babuli
      8 years ago

      Very well said ..you friend.
      We do have our duties towards our parents when we are adult. At the same time we need to choose our life.
      You know in India we are still living in a joint fimily with our partners dependent on us and living life happily.

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  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    If by like them you mean betraying your value system then yea I think its normal to not want to do that but you also have to remember everyone lives there own life and sees things in the way they see them. I was raised with a certain moral code but I could always see my parents were pretty much hypocrites about it so eventhough I embraced those values for a time I eventually had to come to my own peace with how I would navigate through the world. You can find yourself in really bad places and end up doing things you never thought you would do.

    I don't know if this will help you but I think you could forgive them for there human frailty and begin to form your own ideas of how you should live you may find you have to be flexible at some time in the future but I think you will understand better if you try to understand what they did.

    Good luck I know how hard disillusionment can be to take.

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    • outcast92
      8 years ago

      Perhaps the hardest thing i have to do now is to forgive them hoping i'll understand why they did what they did ...

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  • Myghoul2099
    8 years ago

    almost everybody says this but almost everyone becomes them anyway and then their kids promise the exact same thing.

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    • outcast92
      8 years ago

      That's kinda true ... but don't you think it's sort of ironic? ...

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  • snarkygirl
    8 years ago

    I think most kids think our parents are uncool so we don't want to be like them fashion wise but I think my mom is a great person so I don't mind if people say I'm like my mom, we just have different tastes, unless you have awful parents maybe.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      It's not about being "uncool" it's about them being hypocrites about the values they say they hold.

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      • snarkygirl
        8 years ago

        My mom is only a hypocrite in the smallest ways. I guess for the poster the answer is yes its normal.

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  • Dread-pool
    8 years ago

    very normal

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  • yu-gi-ohChampion25
    8 years ago

    no i hated them.

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