Is it normal to not understand why marriage is important?

64% Normal
7 Comments

I want to start off by saying that I have no problem with people getting married. They can do as they please.

Anyway I dont understand why marriage is a thing. Religious reasons aside, it's just a contract that binds two people together. They might get benefits depending on where they live. Then when a divorce happens, someone gets screwed over when it comes to money, property, or custody of kids.

I've never been married before, but I've seen so many marriages fall apart and people getting screwed over. The only people I know that actually lasted are my parents and they were never married. Because of this I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to get married(or have kids). I believe that two people can live together happliy without it. Unfortunately I've been called unrealistic, a sinner, and naive by others for thinking this. It's also chased away potential relationships I could of had because it seems that marriage and kids is one of everyone's dreams. I just don't get it.

Can someone explain to me why it's so important to get married? Is it normal I don't want marriage? Something tells me that if I don't compromise my tune on marriage and kids, I'll never find my Ms or Mr right. It shouldn't matter if I don't want it, I should just suck it up and do what everyone else is doing, right?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 33 votes (21 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 7 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Marriage is pointless unless you are religious, and just downright dangerous if you are a guy due to how the family court system is.

    If I was to "be" with someone and I found out their deal breaker was a guy not wanting to be married, then that's good, because my deal breaker would be a woman that has the decline of marriage as a deal breaker. To me it shows they do not care about putting me at risk if the relationship was to fail, and given 50% of them do 80% of the time because the woman wants one, fucking up a lot of guys' lives, I say good riddance if they do not want to continue it.

    Don't get married, don't risk your future. Anyone that asks of such a thing only have their safety in their future in mind.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Thank you for the advice. It made a lot of sense.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I dunno...it's just a "thing" that we've been told is supposed to happen in life, it's considered a milestone in life.

    I personally LOVE weddings. I like watching wedding shows on tv, looking at gowns, and can't wait to have my own (a girl can dream :P).

    Perhaps you two could work out a pseudo wedding? Maybe you both could compromise. I know some girls who really want the wedding celebration, so perhaps if the girl still got a wedding-like celebration, she would be open to not actually getting legally married. I shall explain.

    My idea of a fake wedding: Like, have a celebration of your relationship (instead of an official marital union) with a gown, cake, fancy setting, dancing, abundant alcohol etc., but instead of exchanging marriage vows, you guys simply professed your love, kind of like a vow, minus the "til death do us part" bit. There would be no marital certificate or anything so you two wouldn't actually be married by law. That way, she gets the celebration and "big day" without you two being officially tied together in marriage. It would flow like an actual wedding except...it's not really a "wedding"...this gives her fulfillment of her childhood dreams, giving her the opportunity to wear the wedding gown she has always wanted, and to have a big celebration (or something).

    So that way she gets her big day and you both are not legally married. Maybe girls would be more open to a compromise like that.

    Sooo...that's just an idea. I hope that makes sense.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Thank you for the advice. I'll run that by the next girl or guy I get into a relationship with.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • GreyWulfen
    9 years ago

    Marriage is a sign of trust, but it is kind of arbitrary. If you don't want to get married, there is nothing wrong with it, do whatever you and your partner like.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Thanks for the advice, but I keep getting rejected because I don't believe in it. Its a deal breaker for a lot of people. I'm afraid I won't be able to find anyone that doesn't believe in marriage.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • GreyWulfen
        9 years ago

        You surely will find someone. :)

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0