Is it normal to not trust my boyfriend?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years now. The first year of our relationship was great. Not much fighting, trust, and a bright future. We moved in together around the time we'd been together for two years. I found out a lot about him and I still love him a lot. I found out he had been lying about something I'd asked him about previously (multiple times) and he'd always denied it. (watching porn) Not that I particularly care that he watched it, I care that he lied to my face so many times about it. After that little discussion he said he would stop watching and always be honest. Long story short, a little while later I saw his search history and it wasn't exactly clean. Once again, it's not about the porn, it's the fact he lies about it. Just today I found out he was lying about something else that he had always denied as well. I'm starting to get really fed up with the amount of petty lies he's feeding me. If he can lie so easily about the little stuff, he can sure as heck lie about the big stuff too. I'm so worried and honestly I'm really hurt too. He says he doesn't like to talk about "stuff like this" so I can never get him to really open up to me either. This hurts because I share everything with him and would expect the same in return. I have very little trust in him as of now and it really sucks. I really don't want to break up with him.. I love him so much and I can't imagine being without him! But I can't stick around and be lied to forever either. Does any one have any tips to help me get out of this situation?

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 17 votes (8 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • JD777

    Ug, I've been through this and have concluded that people who lie often about little things also lie about big things. There's a reason for the popularity of quotes like "Trust takes years to earn, seconds to lose, and may never be regained again."

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • thegypsysailor

    One little lie is all it takes to break the trust between two people. Without trust, there is NO relationship; it is a sham.
    IMO it cannot be gotten back, ever. Once doubt has set in, that's it, it's all over.
    Time to pack your bags and move on.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • charli.m

    "After that little discussion he said he would stop watching and always be honest."

    You said watching the porn wasn't the problem...so whos idea was it that he would stop?

    Yes, being lied to is a big breach of trust, that is a given, but I don't quite understand that bit. If it was your idea, then watching it clearly IS part of the problem. If it was his idea, did he say it purely because he knew you DO have a problem with the porn, or because he lied? Obviously, each situation is different.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • kc10212

    Sorry for the confusion. On some level, yes, the porn bothers me. That's why I brought it up in the first place. But it bothers me much more that my boyfriend can lie about it straight to my face and not think twice about it. That's the real problem here.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Terence_the_viking

    AAAAAh you make my eyes bleed.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • mlbryan44

    I think he sucks cocks too!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • wafflesundays

    its probs a bit of a minter for him to be like yeah I watch porn and chug myself off ..... if he is great to be with you will be fine its only porn

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • RoseIsabella

    Dump him! Once a liar, always a liar!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • MessedUPminds

    I'm not saying it's okay for him to lie cause it's not I'm just saying to look at this from his point of view. Maybe you would be comfortable telling him if you watched porn but that doesn't mean he is. He may feel embarrassed about it and chooses to lie instead of feel awkward. This is definitely not something to break up over cause its honestly not that bad of a lie. Sure it sucks when spouses lie but as far as lies goes, it's not that bad. In an ideal world your mate would never lie about anything ever but we don't live in an ideal world and people are going to lie; it's not that they mean to hurt others it's that the it's easier than the truth. So think of this before ending something otherwise perfect.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • 213

    Seek counsel

    Comment Hidden ( show )