Is it normal to not trust anyone?

77% Normal
7 Comments

I have a fear of people betraying me. Like ... a huge fear. It's come to the point where I feel like I can't even trust my own boyfriend even though I know fully well that he'd never do anything to hurt me.

But I'm scared of getting close to people as friends as well, and I'm terrified of introducing them to my boyfriend. I want to make friends, but every single friend aside from my mate has betrayed me in a horrible way. Is everyone just an asshole or am I meeting the wrong people?

Maybe I can get some advice to know what kind of people I can trust?

My first friend was controlling and got mad at me whenever my other friends were around, so I stopped being friends with them (she somehow had a lot of power over me, but I was like 13 at the time ... I'm 22 now). My second friend kind of just dated ... all the guys that were in my life (ex: the first 2 guys I had a crush on and my babysitter who was like 10 years older than her...)

when I moved I was really shy and tried to make new friends when I entered highschool. I made a friend who tried to bring me into her drama and start fights over things that had nothing to do with me, so I shied away from her and kind of stopped hanging out with her.

My second friend I made at that highschool was really nice at first, but then she became really controlling and got mad at me over absolutely nothing. One day she asked me an opinion on thievery for fun, and my opinion was that it is pathetic unless you're homeless and you're gonna die of starvation or something? She ignored me for a month after that. Her friend (I'll just call her T to not mention any names) stole a shirt from me, and so I asked my friend to get T to give it back ... but they kind of ganged up on me? And then my friend stole my great great grandmother's jewelry box (which I'm actually still trying to get a hold of).

I made another friend, I'll call her K cause this story is even more complicated. I befriended her when her boyfriend broke up with her, and since then we hung out every day and I helped her get better.

I had a crush on this guy I will name C, and I introduced him to her a week later ... and the next day they were dating. I was so desperate to feel loved at this point that I went out with this pathetic guy named B, who I didn't know was already dating another person. After I dated him for a month, I introduced K and B to each other, and guess what?
K decided to cheat on C, the guy I had a crush on, with my boyfriend? How do I know? B dumped me for K :c

So ... I don't know. Is this normal? Does EVERYONE go through shit like this? I just am afraid of making friends and introducing them to my boyfriend, who has betrayed me a few times but they are sooo menial compared to everything else I've been through.

I want to have friends so badly but I'm terrified lol. I don't want to be betrayed, I want to hang out without worrying that I'm being judged or about to get into some complicated drama that I don't understand.

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 39 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • NerdyChickFTW
    11 years ago

    Gosh, I never went through that kind of shit, and I'm glad. I've been a pretty good hermit, though. I only speak when spoken to. A few select friends I know I can trust.

    Point is, people are generally assholes. It's not your fault. There are a few good souls out there, but we just live in a terrible world. It's sad, but true.

    You need to meet new people, and don't be too quick to trust. It's okay to have insecurities about trusting someone, but you need to have a few important people in your life that you can confide in.

    What I've learned in these 18 short years is that everyone deserves to find love, whether it's friendly love, or romantic love. Sweetheart, what you need is someone to love, who loves you. Someone who won't turn around at the last minute and treat you like shit.

    I'm sorry for all this petty drama you've been through, but that's life. And I hope you find a genuine friend soon. <3

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    • Dancing_Demon
      11 years ago

      Thank you so much. I feel better about meeting new people after reading this. I guess I just need to be a lot more cautious. Really, thank you <3

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  • joybird
    11 years ago

    These are typical teenage dramas but you just need to leave your baggage at home. Go out and meet new people, giving them the benefit of the doubt until they do you a bad turn. Everyone's different and I hope you find a decent friend soon.

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  • [email protected]
    11 years ago

    I usually don't

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  • jesusmurder
    11 years ago

    Get used to not having friends.

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  • cipher
    11 years ago

    Though I have not had such betrayals as yours, but I have a pretty similar situation with respect to friends too. I find it difficult to trust people as friends now. I currently dont have a single friend with whom I can be completely myself. I feel i do not make much difference to except for my family / relatives. I am kind of tired too with this situation, but I guess we just need to stick it out.

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  • MRmr
    11 years ago

    The only one you can trust is yourself.

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