Is it normal to not stand bpd-girls? (boderline personality disorder)

18 Comments

You meet someone you could see as your friend, you learn they have BPD and they always claim to be able to handle it but in the end it´s just drama, drama and more drama.
There´s always something wrong with everyone else, never them.

I´ve reached the point where, If I learn that someone has this disorder I give them one chance. But the second I notice that they are a drama-lama towards others i distance myself instantly.

I´ve just been in so many friendships with these people, it never ends well. It´s like walking on egg-shells -_-

( I know it´s a part of their disorder, They can´t help it. But I don´t need more mentally ill people in my life)

I agree, but I feel awful about it	9
I agree, no shame.	16
I disagree, you are awful	7
I disagree.	2

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Comments ( 18 )

Cuntsiclestick

7 years ago | pl

It's normal. I've dealt with people like this before. It's emotionally draining and it made me feel sad and empty inside. There's nothing wrong with you for not wanting to be in relationship with them. I realized that I'm not the person they need and they're not the person I need. They need someone who can help and deal with them. I need someone who is stress free.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Indeed.Trying to get along with them on their bad days is like bashing your head into a wall over and over again.
  I´m yet to encounter someone that TRULY has their disorder under control (= Wont act out on me or others just because they feel shitty)
  
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    7 years ago
    
    Is it bad that I'd rather bash my head into a wall than deal with friends and family members like that ever again?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      Hahaha. You and me both. In that case we are both awful.
      
      Now I just have to figure out a way to get rid of the person I´ve recently befriended without causing drama.
      
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Shackleford96

7 years ago

Agreed. People with true bipolar disorder (not just the popular 'I think I have a mental disorder because It sounds cool'), are extremely hard to deal with. You never know when they are going to switch. Some people have it in them to put up with it, but not me.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Exactly, there´s a difference between "Omg I´m bipolar" and the actual disorder.
  
  It has seriously gotten to the point that I usually can tell quickly if someone has BPD, and I´m always right. When they are good they are really fucking awesome, then they switch and you suddenly understand why they dont have any friends.
  
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mysistersshadow

7 years ago

Why do you have to "put up" with them?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I don´t? hence why I wont even try anymore.
  
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agoodlovejoy

7 years ago

Pray for them so that they will be made whole some day

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BlueAlice

1 year ago

I made the mistake of befriending a couple of people who chose to be Borderliners.

One made me feel responsible for her and made me feel suicidal more than once. Even seeing her to this day is, if not triggering, very jarring and uncomfortable. When she and I are in the same situation, it freaks me out. One of my Facebook friends - who she made develop agoraphobia - has the bitch in his profile picture.

The other - last time we physically met in 2020 - went into great detail about selling and dealing weed, then said the followign to me verbatim.
Size doesnt matter to me. Even if your thighs rubbed together, I wouldn't say anything.

Both have, by some miracle, made it to 30. The latter's birthday party looked like absolute dogshit to me (Just some random blokes on her sofa, not even with any drinks).

I met one in 2016, the other in 2018. The latter was easier to escape as we didn't work together and she lives in a town a good way away from me. Problem is that if I wanted to do anything in the area again, I'd be worried about making sure I didn't bump into her and certainly wouldn't be happy going on my own

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Birdprince

7 years ago

my mum has that and honestly i just want to never see her again (tried that and she just made a huge drama about it until my dad had enough and just told me to see her.)

i wish she would just fuck off and die

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I´ve read that a lot, that many people with mothers with BPD is just ...awful.
  You should not get kids unless you can manage yourself first.
  
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  - Birdprince
    
    7 years ago
    
    yeah, she gave me n my sister up to our dad when we were really young though so my mum hasn't completely fucked us over. she use to physically abuse me as a kid, like she would literally full on beat me by punching me and throwing me on the floor.
    
    now she just uses blackmail and emotional manipulation which i think is just worse.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      I´m glad to hear that you managed to get out of it.
      
      And I´d simply cut her out of my life, block her everywhere and let her deal with her drama and abuse on her own :/
      
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RoseIsabella

7 years ago

Boderline?

Are you aware that there is in fact a book for friends, relatives and partners of people with Borderline Personality Disorder called Stop Walking On Eggshells by Paul Mason.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I did not. But I´ve been willing to learn before but it always ends in shit.
  I have ADHD myself and quite the temper BUT whilst I have the right to have my emotions I do NOT have the right to act out and lash out at friends because of it.
  
  And people who cannot do this doesn´t deserve to be in my life. I´ve gotten so much attitude and so much shit for nonsense-reasons.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    7 years ago
    
    Yes, I don't think a person with BPD and another with ADHD necessarily make the best sort of pair, not to say that compatibility would be impossible especially if both parties are capable of working on their own issues. Sadly many people, both male and female, whom have the misfortune of being afflicted with Borderline are either undiagnosed or aware of their disorder but unwilling to seek out the proper treatment. I think the terrible stigma of BPD can make it difficult for some people to seek treatment.
    
    I knew a girl when I lived in Las Vegas who was very interesting and lively, but quite the drama queen. Well, she told me that her off and on crazy ex boyfriend thought she might have Borderline Personality Disorder. I of course recommend an excellent therapist, but... unfortunately this chick discontinued therapy, because she didn't like labels. I think if a person is unwilling to face the truth about her or himself it's nearly impossible to make any progress period much less when BPD is present. This person could leave me feeling so emotionally drained and she was incapable of accepting responsibility for her actions. She told me things like it was her ex's fault she punched him, because he'd said mean things to her yet was unwilling to repeat the mean thing, because it was "unspeakable", ugh. She Also exhibited a lot of that black and white thinking for which Borderlines are famous. I remember once she blamed a previous ex for her having cheated on him with a supposedly emotionally abusive guy, because the ex was neglectful. There's more of course, but I don't have the patience to get into right now.
    
    I do believe people with BPD can improve themselves, but if they're prescribed medication they need to take it, and what they most need is the proper sort of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The proper therapy is of course much more important than medication. Medication alone won't work.
    
    I haven't stopped talking to the girl I mentioned above, but I speak to her ocassionally and on my own terms. One of the most valuable things Borderlines and those close to them can learn about is how to set and stick to boundaries. I think, contrary to how it may sound, good boundaries can actually set us free in life.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      No, I´ve reached that conclusion as well. I am usually very willing to work with people on their terms though. If they tell me that they can´t stand X and Y, I wont do X and Y if I can help it. But keeping all these triggers in my mind whilst it´s crowded with thousand other things is difficult, especially if they would jump my throat the second I slip up.
      
      I once tried to get treatment for my ADHD, but got told I was too well and they only wanted to offer me medication. I declined and has since then tried to be my own therapist. I guess it ...works and I am able to do it because I have an understanding environment and I always know when it´s me who´s acting up and can withdraw to be mad alone.
      
      I can only imagine how difficult it is to get proper treatment for BPD, I know one BPD girl once told me she viewed medication as a false happiness and I can, to a degree, understand that.
      
      I avoid medication because I can. But not all have that luxury.
      
      I guess that´s what´s the most annoying and saddening ...when I meet someone new I could see myself befriending they are always SUPER FUN and amazing and when they crash ...they crash good.
      
      I have hung out with ... 5-6 of these persons, in many cases I´ve noticed the signs of BPD before they even got it themselves.
      
      Now with this last one ... she told me she could deal with it, and if she needed to rage she'd go away (much like how I deal with my ADHD) And then I noticed the lies ... (ridiculous ones) and how she told me about how she snapped at a TWELVE year old girl that complimented her makeup ...
      
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to not stand bpd-girls? (boderline personality disorder)