Is it normal to not make friends the first week?

73% Normal
5 Comments

Hey everyone,
I just started college this week and I'm a commuter. It takes me about 30 minutes to get to school. My best friend from high school goes to college about ten minutes away from me and all of my other friends are about an hour away in school now. I have been feeling pretty lonely (like coming home crying) because I see everyone around me with friends and I feel like the only one without. I am a little shy but I have been trying to put myself out there to make friends. It has been uncomfortable but I try because I want friends. But so far, it does not seem to be working. I am in a group chat with these girls I met but they like to make plans in the group chat and not invite me... I was with two of them yesterday and they started making plans and then walked away from me and also... I asked one of the girls from the group chat to hang out but she told me she was "going out" and couldn't hang out... turns out she was going out with those girls from the group chat who are supposedly my friends now. I know they're all a waste of my time clearly but I'm not sure what to do. I'm into skiing and starting a ski club and I also am applying to work on campus but I can't help but feel people have already started friendships and I'm here alone and soon enough no one will be looking for friends anymore. I know it is so much easier to live on campus to make friends but it's not worth it for me, spending thousands of dollars for a dorm when I live so close to home. I am just not sure what to do. I know it's only the first week but I really feel as if I won't make any friends this year. I do get anxious easily and assume the worst so that might play a toll in why I feel like I won't make friends. But anyway.. what can I do because I really want a group of friends or a best friend here so I can stop missing out on events on campus like soccer games, etc.

Voting Results
73% Normal
Based on 15 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Azaman
    7 years ago

    Become a drug dealer. Everyone likes a drug dealer

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  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    A week isn't much time and friendships take time. It might help if you tell us what your definition of a friend really is. I've seen ppl that think they have alot of friends find out different when they really need a friend. Good times friends are easy to come by but real friends that will be there when its not a good time only come along a few times in a lifetime.

    So if you just want ppl to hang out with and party that will come pretty easily in college and maybe some or maybe only 1 will become real friends. Either way it takes time. And the best way to get real friends is to be 1 yourself. And be aware you will likely get hurt along the way as ppl you thought wete friends disapoint you.

    Living on or very near campus will help to I know you said you don't want to but remember your making a choice to do that and it will probly make it take longer. Getting involved in activities and clubs will help to. Good luck.

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  • DraegorX
    7 years ago

    1 week is not always enough time, but try to strike up a conversation with the people who interest you. Joining a club may also help to break the ice, but it sometimes takes a little initiative on your part.

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  • DreamCatcher33
    7 years ago

    Don't worry, friends will come. Just be social, but not to social, make the grades and be you. If you get a friend you want them to like you for you. Let time do its thing and people will come and go. But soon, the right person will come around. If you don't want to wait, you could go and start conversations with a person who is nice dressed and looks nice. Don't get in with the wrong crowd. I have my own stratigy, and people come running. Act like your sad and lonley. I'm socially awkward so I do that and it helps a lot. Hope I helped!

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  • DuHast
    7 years ago

    I think you're putting a bit too much pressure on yourself. It's surprisingly difficult to make friends in college/uni. And it really is early days. There's no window where people stop making friends after the first few weeks.

    You may not make many friends first semester. So you might have to put up with being a little bit lonely for a while, but take it as an opportunity to get ahead on your classes.

    And if you start new classes next semester, you'll have a whole new chance to meet new people as well. By then you'll be more comfortable and more settled in, so it's more likely to happen. Everyone else should be a bit more chilled out by then too.
    I've noticed that everyone is always a bit guarded and unsure of themselves initially, which makes it difficult for friendships to start. But once things settle in, it's a lot easier.

    Go for quality over quantity...

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