Is it normal to not like people?
Seriously, people annoy me. They repulse me. I find most human beings to be nothing but phony a..holes. When I look at the way things are, the state of affairs lately, all the injustices, all the pain, all the hurt, i really dislike people.
Especially lately with the economy and rich people advancing at the cost of everyone else and no one doing anything about it. And then all these human rights violations worldwide and atrocities against innocent people, environmental destrcution etc etc - I am just so freaking sick of people. I think everyone is a self serving SOB and I mistrust them and often I catch myself hating on people I dont really personally know (or know all that well) but based on what I think they _will_ be like - because deep down I know most people got only their own backs and are nothing but self serving users who would crush anyone and anything, under the right circumstances, to get ahead.
I want to trust people, I want to be one of those chipper bubbleheads who just love and trust everyone but I am not. And this mistrust shows. I have become a very angry person and I think I am driving people away. It is not like i hurt anyone, I just seclude myself, go off on or about issues in this angry manner, and then dont want anything to do with anyone. I feel there is no point ot anything and there is this bad sense of hopelessness. I used to be so outgoing and hopeful, but lately, I have lost all hope. A combination of things i guess, bad breakups, bad relationships, or lack thereof, hard let downs by people I trust, terminal sickness in the family, economic struggle.
I cant be happy for people, I dont trust them, I dislike most of the, and I think I am completely incapable of loving anyone. I am not sure. I dont like how i feel (and no, i didnt go to shrink, I think they only give you meds and psychologists refer you to someone at some point so they give you meds, and frankly i dont think medicating your mind is the solution but that's another discussion).