Is it normal to not know your own sexuality?

I'm 18, female, and a college freshman, but I still don't know my own sexuality. I've always had a very low to non-existent sex drive, so it could be part of the problem. However, I feel like I should know after all of these years.

Sometimes people ask me if I'm gay because I've never been in a relationship. Honestly, I don't know if I'm gay, straight, or bi. I even looked into asexuality, but that didn't quite fit.

I don't think I'll ever figure this out.

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 142 votes (119 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • ardcz

    Google the Kinsey scale. He's a psychologist who researched sexuality, and he believes that everyone rates on a sort of scale. Think of 1 being totally straight, 10 being totally gay. Some of us are 5, and we are equally attracted to both genders.
    My advice is to not get obsessed with labels & have fun experimenting. Spend time with people you connect with, male or female.

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    • Ahh yes...I'm actually a huge fan of the Kinsey scale!

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  • q25t

    This is perfectly normal. I'm 20 and I'm still lost.

    I think it would be better if we defined sexuality on several scales rather than with labels.

    Have one for which sex you're physicasly attracted to, and if you're not at an end, then you could go either way. Have another for emotional attraction and another for desire for sex. I think it would help as people seem to struggle defining themselves as they think they must fit into box A, B, C, or D.

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  • MmmHmm

    I'm 18, male, a college freshman, and I still don't know my own sexuality either. However, I also think sexuality is a very gray subject. There are labels, but really, I don't know what I am. I like girls, but I have never been in a relationship with one. I find some guys attractive, but I don't see myself being in a relationship with a guy. It's like I'm emotionally attracted to girls and physically attracted to both girls and boys. So as you can see, it's very gray and not THIS or THAT. Hope this helps! I think it's completely normal and in the end, just be with who you love. :)

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  • Ldizzy1234

    Hmmm... I don't think you're lost. I think you're just not interested in anybody right now. And thats fine. You don't need to be lusting over someone every single day of your life. And when you do find someone you like... you'll know. For now, you're probably just experiencing a lull in activity.

    And don't worry about it either. Like the others have said, don't obsess over labels. You're only 18 anyway. Just enjoy yourself. Maybe in another couple years or so, you'll meet someone you're attracted to.

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  • tehwalrus

    Asexual isn't a label so much as one end of a scale with 'High Sex Drive' on the other end. So basically it sounds like you're really close to the asexuality end of the scale but not quite there.

    I'm starting to think I'm more interested in fictional characters than real people, so try and fit that one in your labels...

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  • yesgirl

    It Definately is normal. Very few people are 100% straight or 100% gay. Don't feel pressured to label yourself just cause others have.

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  • GreyWarden

    Maybe your pansexual. And haven't found Someone you like? Just a thought. & don't sweat it. Things will turn out good in the end no matter what

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  • Willtheman

    Im 20, i dont know mine either

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  • footprints

    You sound exactly like me, if anyone asks i go for borderline Asexual, but i don't think its that important.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing

    Maybe you are asexual.

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  • teengirl

    Im a female and i feel exactly the same as you its scary but im just seeing what will happen

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  • Vanguard

    Sounds like Asexual to me.

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  • quentari

    you are a bisexual asexual :P lol I dunno, try not to fit a label and instead fond someone that you are attracted to regardless of gender/race/age :) (so long as they are legal!)

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  • diaperwolf21

    I'm 19, and I know my sexuality. You probably don't have enough experience to know whether you're straight or not. Get some practice then make a decision. Oh, bisexual by the way.

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