Is it normal to not know what i want and be bad at reading signs?

I'm 18 yrs old, male. I've had really weird turbulent emotions and feelings towards relationships and sex but can't decide how I want to lose my v-card. I'm not super attractive and I'm kind of that nice guy personality, not very good at reading what girls like or want. I recently was getting to know this girl and I thought I could have a relationship with her, but took it way too slow, made out with her once then continued to try to ask her out and be exclusive when she really just wanted to fuck. She just ditched me and started fucking this other guy. I'm trying to convince myself that she wasn't that special and I'll get the next one, but chance don't come along very often for me so I feel like I messed up harsh at the same time.