Is it normal to not have strong feelings about anything?

62% Normal
14 Comments

I'm starting to think there's something really, seriously wrong with me emotionally. It's not that I don't have any feelings at all, it's just that I guess I don't have very strong ones. I don't really get angry or sad, and I never seem to be very deeply affected by anything that happens to me-- and it's usually stuff that seems to traumatize/deeply touch other people.

I was molested as a kid, and I can't remember having any thoughts about it other than knowing it was wrong and feeling awkward and maybe a little embarrassed about it happening.

When my parents got divorced I wasn't upset, and I didn't really miss my dad even when I didn't see him at all for a year. A lot of other kids seem really devastated when their parents divorce, and I just didn't care one way or the other. I actually thought the other kids were being kind of melodramatic.

I was raped by my brother as a young adult, and I was only upset about it for about a week. Most other women I know of who were raped have all sorts of issues, especially when it's someone they previously loved and trusted. Other than thinking he's a total dick and refusing to have anything to do with him anymore, I don't. That just can't be normal.

Then I was robbed at gunpoint by two men about a year ago-- I freaked out for a few minutes afterwards and then I was fine, or just over it I guess. People kept saying how calm I was and how they would have been freaking out and really upset. They couldn't believe I wasn't terrified and losing sleep. Again, I just wasn't. it seemed silly to me to get all worked up about something when the danger was already over. That's when I first started wondering if I'm just seriously messed up somehow.

I have tons of other examples, but I think I've made my point. Even for good stuff like when I got married, I wasn't nervous or super excited or moved to tears or anything. I was just happy, like normal smiling happy. So I guess I'm just wondering if I'm the only one. Is it normal to just not be affected by serious shit going down in your life?

Voting Results
62% Normal
Based on 29 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    The fact that you would type a post that long suggests plenty of feelings. Psychology 101 really.

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    • mehwhatever
      11 years ago

      I never said I didn't have feelings, just that they don't effect me like other people's feelings seem to effect them.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Oh but they do, they are right now!

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  • *~ThePurplePixie~*
    11 years ago

    Hello there!

    This feels almost like looking into a mirror!

    I don't have very strong emotions either, this has been since childhood. I get over bereavements very quickly; I don't cry all that often unless I feel as if I've come to THE END, and I'm always pretty much okay afterwards. When my husband found out I was pregnant with twins (he's a twin himself, so it was really emotional for him to see the whole twinning process repeated) and he cried, and got so choked up at our wedding, but I didn't.
    I have Asperger's Syndrome (AS) - perhaps this is the reason for my own emotional delay...at least I believe it to be the case! Although I may be quite, quite wrong!

    Naturally I'm not implying that you have AS, though - you might, it depends if you have any other issues.
    It isn't necessarily a bad thing (I realised this not so long ago)! Lack of emotional discourse can keep a situation more low-key, and so long as you're still functioning okay, what's the problem?

    This post particularly caught my eye because of how much I related to the title...I also find emotions so hard to experience.
    Even if there's nothing that will make you emotional, you did mention that you felt happiness - fantastic!

    I have found it frustrating, still - when the kids are crying and my husband is obviously 'feeling their pain', I just feel pretty much the same as if I was watching comedy. In the end though, I just learned to observe other people and kind of copy them to show emotions.

    If there's any questions you want answered, or any advice you need, please feel free to ask - reply or send a message my way!

    Good luck, my friend!

    xx

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    • mehwhatever
      11 years ago

      Thank you. It's interesting how you relate your husband's feelings, because mine is pretty much the same way. He's what I'd call sensitive, and I think it's sweet (he choked up during our wedding, too! And I was just like, uh, smile?). Sometimes we joke that we've switched roles, because traditionally men are supposed to be more stoic and women more emotional.

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      • *~ThePurplePixie~*
        11 years ago

        No problem.
        My hubby's also super emotional and sensitive! He cries at the 'Simpsons'!

        xx

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  • davesumba
    11 years ago

    i'm pretty emotionless myself and everyone notices. it doesn't bother my, that's just who i am

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  • Allistalla
    11 years ago

    I think your normal.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I think you just sound more strong minded than the average person. Like the other poster mentioned I have aspergers as well which makes me less emotional, however I would have no idea if you do or not. For me its like I have no emotional memory. I can feel an emotion, but once the event is over, I have no idea what it felt like. Most the time i feel nothing. What other people call being unemotional is actually a streangth. Realize that you have a gift to not be burdened by what you cant help (things that already happened.)

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    • mehwhatever
      11 years ago

      Thanks. I don't have aspergers that I know of, I'm just not emotional. In my case I do feel emotions, just not ever very strong ones. I do admit that I think it's kind of nice not to have the crippling issues others seem to have from similar experiences, but I also think it makes me lass sympathetic towards others who are having a hard time, and that worries me a little.

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      • joybird
        11 years ago

        I understand your concern for a lack of empathy but I'm sure you have learned to say the right things to express sympathy for other people. I see this as a strength too as you're not wasting time worrying about things that have already happened and that you can't change.

        As I've got older I've learned to focus my concern very narrowly - it extends only to my son. I can't be bothered with emotional dramas or 'woe is me' people. I think your 'problem' sounds beneficial to you.

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  • tellmeimwrong
    11 years ago

    Its normal. I, as well don't get emotional but reading your story kind of got tears in my eyes. What you feel is natural and please see a therapist (not a psychiatrist) just to talk things over. My therapist saved and changed my life, seriously. Sometimes we need opinions from others. Your a beautiful person I really wish I knew you. Really.

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    • mehwhatever
      11 years ago

      I've seen many therapists over the years, and I've had a few really good ones that were comfortable to talk to. Most of them tell me I'm depressed or have anxiety problems, but is it really depression if that's just the way you are? And how can you have anxiety problems if you don't feel anxious or afraid? I think it's just how I am.

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      • tellmeimwrong
        11 years ago

        I just want you to know that none of what happened to you is your fault. You didn't deserve that.

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