Is it normal to not get why nonviolent rape is a big deal?

19% Normal
27 Comments

As in, yes, I know it's a terrible thing to do, can give them PTSD, consent is important etc etc. I just don't understand why it could possibly affect someone in that way.

Sex is, pretty much, an arbitrary meshing of bodies that occasionally results in babies - unless they have an STD, it rarely has a long-lasting effect - why should it matter if someone does it without your permission? It seems like it should come across as kinda rude, not like some terrible abomination...

Same for sexual taboos like bestiality/incest/necrophilia.

And no, I'm not trolling. I'm also not a rapist, nor do I particularly want to be.

Voting Results
19% Normal
Based on 81 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 27 )
  • Shoefish
    9 years ago | pl

    Perhaps you will get raped and then you can come back and tell us if you found it more than 'kinda rude'. I don't really buy that you're not trolling but you're an arsehole either way.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I sort of agree, tbh. I mean, at least I'd understand, right?

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  • TheChakraMantra
    9 years ago

    So it wouldn't matter to you if someone raped you? You'd just be slightly offended?

    And the retard of the year award goes to...

    There's no such thing as non violent rape. Rape means to forcefully penetrate someone. Something so violating and disgusting can't not be violent, because for the time that it takes someone to rape you, your body is no longer yours. It belongs to someone else. Someone is inside you, stretching open the most intimate part of you, a place that you'd only allow someone you trust to tread in, for their own pleasure. You're no longer a person, just a thing. And think about how horrifying it'd be for a virgin.

    You're problem is that you seem to think people are nothing but walking, talking sex organs. That we have no sense of love, fear, sickness, or any other emotions for that matter. Well, reproduction is not our sole purpose anymore. In fact, our planet could benefit from a few billion people dying out. Specifically people who don't find rape to be a big deal.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      "So it wouldn't matter to you if someone raped you? You'd just be slightly offended?"

      If I had been raised my whole life to consider eating cheese to be a terrible abomination, I would probably be freaked out if I saw you slicing some Camembert. It doesn't mean that that's logically the way it ought to be.

      Maybe if I were raped, I would get it, and maybe I wouldn't, but if I had the ability to make that happen to me, it wouldn't exactly be rape, would it?

      "There's no such thing as non violent rape."

      Yes, rape can be considered an act of violence in itself. Correct that, then, to 'rape that does not involve physical abuse'.

      "Rape means to forcefully penetrate someone."

      Nitpicking, but, no, it doesn't. Rape is non-consensual sex, including both penetration and forcing others to penetrate. :)

      "...because for the time that it takes someone to rape you, your body is no longer yours. It belongs to someone else."

      See, there are plenty of crimes that involve someone having complete control over your actions, holding the power against you - kidnapping, anything involving a loaded gun... And yet rape is cited as being most traumatic. Why? Because it involves genitals?

      "You're problem is that you seem to think people are nothing but walking, talking sex organs."

      So, because I referred to sex as a LESS intimate, meaningful act than most people do, I believe it's our sole reason for existing?

      "In fact, our planet could benefit from a few billion people dying out. Specifically people who don't find rape to be a big deal."

      For the record, I do believe rape is a big deal. I made this post because I realized I did not 'get' the reason on an emotional level. It seemed impossible to imagine being that affected by an event that did not harm me in any meaningful way. Sorry, but it just struck me as odd.

      Thanks for telling me I deserve to die, though.

      I'm sorry for minimalising the experiences of sexual harassment & rape victims. Many of them have had a severe emotional reaction to this that I do not mean to invalidate.

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  • Ace09
    9 years ago

    So, I suppose it wouldn't upset u if u got raped? I mean, sex is, pretty much, an arbitrary meshing of bodies that occasionally results in babies, right?

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    So if some old bastard buggers you it should be fine then?

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    No such thing as non violent rape, the violence and force is the definition of rape.

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    • anti-hero
      9 years ago

      That's not the definition.

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      • wistfulmaiden
        9 years ago

        Rape is forceful or unwilling sex. I guess it's not violent if you're unconscious but that's the exception.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    9 years ago

    because rape is rape violent or no.

    YOU SILLY FUCKER.

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  • Arm0se
    9 years ago

    I hope you get raped by some dead horse brothers.

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  • JB1712
    9 years ago

    You need to be in an insane asylum at best!

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    Sounds like blackmail sex. Whew, nasty stuff.

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  • (s)aint
    9 years ago

    For me, personally I don't THINK that I would be too traumatized if the rapist wore a condom, was good looking and I was single.

    ...

    Yeah, i thought that was stupid as well.

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    • anilkumar
      9 years ago

      well in that case I fulfill all of your above criteria... :-P

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      • (s)aint
        9 years ago

        1) I´m not single.
        2.)How do you know my personal preferences?

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  • Dad
    9 years ago

    Obviously non violent rape is still rape, and judging from the replies you can see that mostly all are against this. (except I suppose rapists?)

    But I do understand your concern. Agreed its not what you and others 'normally' perceive a rape case to be. I can think of an example (hypothetical) where a couple could be sexually aroused together in bed, and then suddenly one partner (lets say the female to help the scenario) says no just at the second before penetration.

    In the above example I wonder if the man continued you would say its 'non violent'?
    I suppose I'd need a clear example of what you mean before replying, as 'rape' (a legal term) is obviously against the law, but does it automatically cause long term issues? No, generally not. Raped victims still seem to get married and live full lives. Its not like every single female raped has had her life destroyed forever. It just depends upon that person and what actually happened specifically.

    I'd need a clear example.

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      OK you want a clear example, I'll give you one. I was briefly fucking with someone who frequently woke me up fucking me, which I didn't mind.

      EXCEPT the last time he did it he was hurting me and wouldn't stop no matter how much I protested.

      That is rape and over 4 years later I'm still affected by it. I should add that the police didn't charge him although they said they believed me, because of the difficulty of proving it, but I did get the maximum amount of crimes compensation.

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      • Dad
        9 years ago

        Its legal rape yes.
        But it can be difficult for others to fully grasp as 'affected by it' even years later.

        This law has now (wisely) been thrown out: A few decades ago (only about 5) a man was legally allowed to rape his wife. Although I definitely see how ridiculous that old law was, the point is the women were still ok years later.

        Its a VERY fine line, your case was obviously more traumatizing (and illegal for anyone in that case), but is it always traumatizing? I don't honestly think so. I'm not saying it should be allowed ever (ever). I'm just saying: 2 lovers, already welcomed in bed, then rape occurs? Its hard to accept by everyone, sorry but you should know this if you don't already.

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        • Ellenna
          9 years ago

          What's so hard to accept? Because a women say it still affects them years later, you can't just accept we know our own experience and how it affects us? You seem to think you know better - well you don't because it hasn't happened to you.

          I notice you haven't answered the posts asking you if you'd be affected if raped by another man?

          What's the fine line? Sex without consent is rape, what's so hard to grasp?

          How do you know women were still ok years later? Done a survey or rape survivors, have you? I know a couple of women who were raped by their husbands years ago and it still affects them

          You don't know what you're talking about so I think you should get back under your rock util your brain grows properly

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          • Dad
            9 years ago

            I'm not specifically talking about 'rape'.
            That would be like people going 1 mile over the speed limit and been classed as breaking the law.

            I'm talking about 2 agreeing partners in bed already, then 1 decides no, but a non-violent sexual act then occurs. That THIS is difficult for everyone to accept as rape in the same way rape is shown on the news where a woman is dragged from the street and raped down an alley!

            Although I have no idea how traumatizing each individual case would be (even years after), I find that I appreciate its hard to accept by everyone how bad these in love couple in bed raped victim was.

            By the way, I'm not gay so I didn't answer those childish questions.

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            • Ellenna
              9 years ago

              Well the thread is about rape, isn't it? WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

              Speaking from experience rape by someone you know and are in a relationship far-reaching effects on trust and powerlessness and self-image and if you can't accept that you are being deliberately obtuse.

              The questions about a man being raped had nothing to do with the victim being gay! You think gay rapists only rape other gays? Your ignorance knows no bounds. Those questions weren't childish, but attempts to credit you with some empathy - you do know what that means even if you don't have any?

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