Is it normal to not get my girlfriend off, & all of her ex's could?

I cannot get my girlfriend to orgasm no matter what I do! She told me that Im the first that hasnt been able to. Even her last guy that "sexually abused" her was able to while he was "sexually abusing" her. What is the fucking deal??

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40% Normal
Based on 5 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • Boojum

    Could she now be sort of "tuned in" to the abusive scenario?

    More likely, she's just been turned off sex by the abuse.

    The sexual response of women is very different to that of men. Us guys are simple: it's almost totally a mechanical response. With women, what's going on in their heads is at least as important as the physical side. (Some women can reach orgasm just by thinking the right thoughts.)

    Given the context, something that might be relevant: Although mental state is very important for women, sometimes they do reach orgasm solely due to physical stimulation. If the woman is in a situation she finds highly unpleasant and where she really does not want to have sex, but she still has an orgasm, this can lead to feelings of self-loathing. She interprets her orgasm as indicating that, deep down, she actually liked what was done to her.

    There's a big internal conflict here. Rationally, she finds what happened to her disgusting and abusive, but she can't deny that she got physical pleasure from the act.

    Think how you would feel if you were anally raped, but the rapist knew how to stimulate your prostate so that you did reach orgasm. Would that mean you actually enjoyed being raped? No, in the sense that it was violently non-consensual, but yes, in the sense that you did experience physical pleasure.

    Most women have so much culturally-imposed baggage when it comes to sex that they find such an experience far more difficult to come to terms with than you or I would.

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    • Transamokely

      Wow! That was a fantastic answer and I really appreciate it. Thank you.

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