Is it normal to not feel the need to bond with people?

69% Normal
5 Comments

I'm 20 years old, and I can't make solid bonds with people. I do not consider myself superior in any way, so it's not because I have weird standards and frankly, I don't care what people do or look like.
I try to be nice and avoid fights, but when someone wants to get closer to me (by asking very personal questions - regarding feelings, the past, the future together) something will spark in my mind, telling me to back off quick.
Talking about myself with other people is painful. I sometimes lie about petty things only to not tell the truth. I don't want to appear superior, I just don't want them to know me. There's an immense fear of being exposed or getting sucked into something, even during relationships. And I know it's not fair. Speaking of, I'm terrified of commitments and marriage. My ex talked about it one day and my blood went cold.
So bottom line is, I've been a loner most of my life, and I think I'm ok with it. I realise I actively avoid relationships with people, connections. I see no "fun" in going out in large groups of "friends" to drink your brains out, like everyone does. If i say I'm not into that stuff I'm looked at funny.
What would you do? I'm not sure if I want to bond with people, and I've hurt some folks by trying.

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 45 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • MercedesBenz
    14 years ago

    You should probably talk to a therapist. I know you dont want to, but there are likely some unresolved issues you need to talk out.

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  • diddlyo
    12 years ago

    Yeah i hate it when people try to get too personal. Like you didnt know about me before, what impact will the answers i give have on you and me? Sometimes people really are curious, just being friendly or trying to make conversation. I think you're fine... If you are okay and can live with it you are fine

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  • chaosdragoon1
    14 years ago

    Single I mean.

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  • chaosdragoon1
    14 years ago

    If you were really okay with it then you would have nothing to fear and simply tell people that you would rather be simple.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Guess relationships just aren't for you. Though do any girl a favor and don't date them because if u don't want a long term relationship and will lie about even the smallest things as to not get close then that's just unfair to them. No one likes a lier.

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