Is it normal to not date?

78% Normal
2 Comments

I am a young black (19 year old) male who has his own place and a job. I am studying to continue school....and I am a virgin.

Its probably not a big deal, even though I'm on the skinny guy a lot of girls look my way and talk to me, but sometimes I feel like they are just messin' with me. One time I was on the bus and I was about to put on my iPOD when this black girl was trying to talk to me. Not taking her seriously And not not paying much attention I continued to put them on. I took them back off to see if she was talking to me and she says "that's rude", and turns back to her friends. I wonder if I have it in my head that no girl truly likes me and the way I look now they never will. I am 6 feet and weigh 140 pounds, but its just 25 pounds I need to gain.

My other question is if I should just date outside my race? I guess I'm not considered a normal black person because everything I do is considered not thuggish enough, and whenever I meet these types of girls I usually just don't call them anymore or stop talking to them.

Also I have only approach a girl once and I had a normal conv with her but I didn't ask her out. I guess my question is where I can meet a nice girl and how can I get over rejection/raise my self esteem issue?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 27 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • Alaskaraven
    14 years ago

    You listen to me. I am old enough to be your mom-- and moms are always right.

    No one cares what color you are, how much you weigh, or even how old you are. It is your CHARACTER that matters. And your manners.

    As far as your worries? Weight will come with age, and if you lift weights and eat proper protein, it will come sooner. Some ppl are meant to be thin- Gary Cooper type [some old guy in the movies when I was a baby- they still call it that type- long, lean muscles].

    PLEASE keep up with your studies. The better educated, the better job, the better pay, the better class of woman you will be qualified to expect for yourself. High standards are good.
    Whoring around is not all it's cracked up to be, & men tend to place a higher value on it concerning each other... so don't discuss your sex [or non] life w/ anyone.

    Continue to be polite, distanced, & remember :

    HIV and other STD's - you can only get it 1 in 20 times compared to a woman's 1 in 4- so being a decent man you do NOT want to be out doing that to women... and women get and spread it too.

    Stats show the less experience you have, the less trust issues you start with, & longer your marriage will last, so don't be in a hurry. The original purpose of dating was NOT to get drunk & get laid, it was to shop for a mate. Waiting until you are seeking a wife is cool, just watch & learn social skills until then, so you can properly pursue her when the time comes...
    and you will find her anywhere- church, bars [upscale], a mall, college, work, online, the bus.

    You are young. Many men wait until 30 or so to even consider a mate- start dating after you have begun your career, unless you run into 'the love of your life' before then. Take your time.

    You sound like a good person, date who you LIKE, it is 2010, no one should be upset at what race you choose to date [although they say you will get dirty looks from black women if you date white girls- don't know].

    take care. And stop worrying. You are OK. if there is a way to contact me w/out me giving out my e-mail publicly here, we should do Facebook or Myspace.

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  • Anywho
    14 years ago

    dont gain weight, I spent 10 years with a man who was 6'2 and weighed 127lbs, YUM

    like I been saying alot around IIN, be happy with YOU, you may never find the right person no matter what you do - don't change for anyone but yourself, or you'll be left with a bunch of crap someone else might want but you can't stand

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