Is it normal to not come out of the closet to your mom?

76% Normal
12 Comments

For my whole life my mom has been the one person I can always confide in. Of course I had best friends that I told my secrets to and got support from, but I found that friendships change, and people change. You get new best friends. But my mom was always there for me, and we still have a great relationship.
I am bisexual, I concluded this on my own, and only one of my friends knows. So, I'm still in the closet.
My mom is okay with gay people, but she isn't extremely supportive. I know that she wouldn't 'kick me out' if she found out. So, everything seems fine, right?
Not really. I'm so scared of jeopardizing our relationship that I can't bring myself to tell her. I'm so scared that telling her will change our relationship ever so slightly that it will never be the same again.
In the past, I was okay with thinking I would never tell her. But lately I feel suffocated by this secret I've been keeping.
I'm just wondering, is it normal to not want to come out of the closet to your mom, so as to not jeopardize your relationship, even slightly?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 74 votes (56 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 12 )
  • Zalenn
    9 years ago

    Similar situation for me. I still have not formally come out. My mom caught on after realizing my "friend" was always over, stayed over, etc etc. She has referred to him as my partner and what not and clearly knows - as does my dad.

    Mind you - i'm not a typically "flaming" individual if you know what I mean. I'm a normal everyday guy (as is my bf of 5 years) - which is why I think it is all fine.

    The real hatred seems to be directed at the guys running around slutting with their prada bags, mascara and over dramatic flair.

    At the end of the day, i'm their son. I've made something of myself. I'm not being a purse wielding freak in a dress. My parents have come to accept the fact i'm with a guy, and i'm almost positive they like him more than me lol.

    Don't give them a reason to dislike it. And please, god, don't introduce them to the typically drug ridden, Sex fiend community. It's hard to accept that your child wants to be "that".

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • crazydirectioner
    11 years ago

    I think its normal AT FIRST but eventually you WILL HAVE to tell her

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • DreamingAboutHim1020
    11 years ago

    Im bi as well, andI dont think I will ever tell my mum. Its completely normal to not want ti damage your relationship. However, I think my mum has a creeping suspitsion though. She already knkws I have a thing for gay porn. And to the homophobic guy above me, how dare you insult gay people. They cant help it! And besides I know some brilliant gay people.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • wonderful360
    11 years ago

    If ur gay and u like it doesn't ur mom want what's best for u??

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Usmcxo3
    11 years ago

    Tell her. You will feel so much better. It's never good to hide things, she might find out on her own & maybe not the way she wanted to find out. Go for it & good luck (:

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Coolieo
    11 years ago

    Yes, it's normal. Just tell her that you don't want to ruin the daughter-and-mother family relationship and just tell her this is your decision you want out of life. She's probably mad that she probably thought that you were going to marry a guy, but now it's a girl..? Well, just tell her how you feel about this. Take care, good-bye.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • coolio75650932
      11 years ago

      IMPOSTER!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • iin2want2know
    11 years ago

    Chances are she already knows if you are as close as you say you are.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • gaz3912
      7 years ago

      Totally.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      -1
      -1
  • dirtytalk
    11 years ago

    no such thing as homosexuality, its a mental/personality disorder..

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I'm done with ignorant people like you. Do not impose your uneducated views on me or anyone else.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • DonnieLighto
    11 years ago

    Yeah, she knows you are already - even if it's subconscious. No need to tell her - especially if you still live at home.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1