Is it normal to not believe in love songs?

After two years of the first time in my life that I have ever really been in love, she decided that we weren't as well matched as I felt we were, and left me. That was almost a year ago (it will be a year in just a few weeks).

I've moved on, found a great new girl, and am in a great new relationship. But "the one that got away" still has a large piece of my heart, and no matter how much I go on with my life, her beautiful face and the memory of our love still haunts me.

Here's my problem: When I hear a love song on the radio that resembles our situation, a song about being broken-hearted and being in love, and love lost, at first I want to cry, but then, instead, I get angry. I get angry because I don't believe it. I mean, these songs were written by rock stars, and what the hell do rock stars know about broken hearts? They have everything: love, adoration, money, fame... the worst thing they have to deal with is which girl do they want today, and do they want to smoke a joint or shoot up.

I know I should take comfort in love songs like these, but I don't. First they take the knife from my back and shove it into my heart, and then I realize that they're not even real: they're just written by someone to make a buck and try to get famous.

I don't trust love songs. I don't believe in them. I don't believe that anybody who has success as great as that can understand the hell I'm going through. Is it normal?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 33 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • In a way, they have it worse. They have to consider "is this person in love with me or my career".
    These rock-stars might never even see true love, because they will be giving out "their" hearts to someone that is only interested in the career's heart, and so his love is wasted.
    These rock-stars are people, too. Just because they have a lot of women screaming for them doesn't mean he can find the girl he wants, because his rock-star character could be the one receiving all of the love, while the real one is wondering "Is it worth it?"

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  • dom180

    I think some of them are based on personal experience and some of them aren't. Some of them are probably based on feelings but the specifics of the story aren't true.

    Broadly, money doesn't stop you having feelings. If anything, I bet most celebrities have pretty unhealthy minds; having so much money you can do whatever you want all day every day with very minimal would probably make anyone that way.

    It is normal for you to feel misunderstood and in the depths of despair though. You need to get advice about that from people who know what they're talking about though, not me :P

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  • Shackleford96

    Heart in a Blender - Eve Six

    She Fucking Hates Me - Puddle Of Mudd

    ^Those are two of my favorites that I have listened to for a long time now.

    I disagree about your seeming prejudice against these "Rock Stars." Yeah, they're living the "good life" and all that, but who's to say that just because they're famous makes them any less perceptible to life's emotions? I don't think so. They too (some of them anyway), underneath it all, are people just like you or me.

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  • sociophobe

    Yes... start listening to songs about the lies love creates. You need some metal in your life ;P

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  • Word2Pass

    Do you believe in miracles? Where are you from?
    You sexy thing.

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs

    Dude.....it's just a fucking song. Stop over analysing that shit.

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  • FocoUS

    Two parts:

    1. "What do rock stars know?" Well they're still human. They still experience love. There are a lot of love songs that aren't sung by stars. There are a lot of love songs that predate recorded music. Love songs existed before fame existed.

    2. She's not the one that got away. She just left you. That's it move on. You're dealing with the breakup poorly.

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  • Wendell

    Maybe they were once in your position. They don't just make shit up about bad relationships, something had to inspire them.

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  • VioletTrees

    Oh, and if you're still stuck on your ex, what are you doing dating this new girl? You need to deal with your feelings and not string women along while you're stuck on you're ex. That's kind of a dick move.

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    • Violet, thank you for your honesty, however, I feel I need to clear up some misunderstandings, based on your reply.

      First, me and the ex are *long* over. Our relationship ended just over a year ago. We are separated both emotionally and physically, now living literally thousands of miles apart. I don't hold out hope for reuniting with her: she moved away, back with her family, and I have moved away from the city and state we in lived together, too. It's not that I am trying to get her back, it's just that I miss her. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

      Second, my current relationship is a good relationship, for both of us. We've been together for about 6 months now, and finally decided to move in together not quite a month ago. We have a great relationship, and I have even gained a new step-child out of the deal... I would not break up with this girl merely because I miss someone terribly.

      When we met, she saw my pain, and wanted to try to make it better. Like me, she has (albeit less recently) been through a separation with someone she dearly loved, and I respect that. I personally don't feel that you have to purge every good memory of a previous relationship before moving on. I love, I loved, I am loving. I feel this is a positive quality.

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      • VioletTrees

        Ok. I was worried that your current girlfriend was unaware of your ex, or that you'd leave her if your ex wanted you back. That's a lot clearer now, though.

        Still, I think your position on love songs and rock stars is inaccurate. Not liking them because you're in pain is fine, but rock stars are just as capable of relationship issues as other people.

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  • VioletTrees

    I'm confused. Do you think that famous people are always romantically successful? Because that's definitely not true. It might be easy to have sex with groupies if you've achieved a certain level of fame, but that doesn't mean you don't have trouble with actual relationships. Often, fans aren't really interested in or attracted to who you really are, they're attracted to a fictional version of you who they've constructed in their heads based on your music, appearance, and press.

    Also, not all love songs are written by famous people. The vast majority of musicians never get famous. Even the ones who get songs played on the radio or write songs that get reasonably well known (which most of them don't, by the way) often aren't particularly famous for any appreciable amount of time.

    On a slightly different note, you should talk to a therapist about how you're dealing with your ex. This is not healthy.

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  • OswaldCobblepot

    I would believe IN them… they do actually exist. It's fine to not believe what they're saying though.

    My favourite love song is probably Everything Goes Cold's "Bitch Stole My Time Machine", which is full of absurdity but still presents a very heartfelt notion of wanting to go back in time to change his actions that made her leave… but he can't… because she stole his time machine.

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    • Good reply... Penguin!

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      • OswaldCobblepot

        Thanks… Anon!

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        • That's Bat-Anon! :D

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          • OswaldCobblepot

            Anona na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!

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  • bristexai

    Too many of them are over-dramatic.

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