Is it normal to not be sad at the thought of a close ones death?

4 Comments

A lot of people around me are getting near the point where they are getting close to their last day, both my grandpa's just got diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, my 70 year old grandma smokes 3 packs a day, and my 14 year old dog is getting lumps and is becoming very tired.

Upon the news of my grandpa's cancer, my mom cried at the thought of him going away forever. I wonder what I will do when my dog dies, we do a lot together, and I've never been very close with my other grandpa. The only one that makes me really sad is my dog because he is a constant happiness in my life. Everyone else I kind of shrug off in a sense. I've kind of come to terms with what death is, it's not a surprise and it's not something that is unexpected. It's something that happens to everyone and is a part of life. I don't find death sad, I find it as a point to appreciate what someone has done for you, thank them, and move on.

One of my grandfathers and me are fairly close, we sing songs together with the family, we tell each other stories, and have quite a bit of fun. The thought of him passing really doesn't stir any emotions and this bothers my mother. I used to be over emotional but now my emotions feel kind of dulled. I'm not quite as happy, I'm not quite as sad, and I definitely don't laugh as much as I used to at various forms of media.

I guess after writing this long rantish type thing, my question is: am I the only one that doesn't get sad at the thought of people dying?

Yes it's normal. 21
No it isn't normal. 6
It's not normal but I feel the same. 10
Other: write it in comments. 3
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Jeaneathean
    10 years ago

    This sounds fairly normal as a coping mechanism. When it finally happens you will almost certainly experience a range of intense emotions.

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  • Hey-skittle-fucking-bears!!!!!
    10 years ago

    I don't know any thing about you so I can't say you are spiritual. But maybe you just believe in an afterlife so death just isn't a big deal. Sorry I don't feel like I am helping at all. Super sorry about your grandpas and dog. ; ) xd.

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  • green_boogers
    10 years ago

    Appreciate and care for your Grandpa, and your dog. Give them warmth and care. After they pass away, their memories will become your treasures.

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  • college
    10 years ago

    I lost my only sibling last year, and I've lost a dog. When these things initially happened, I was overcome with grief, and then suddenly (as in the next day), I felt absolutely nothing. I thought something was wrong with me and I started googling words like "psychopath" and "sociopath", thinking that my lack of emotion was not normal. Turns out, it's perfectly normal. It's called shock, and you'll feel numb most of the time, with startling moments of intense emotion sprinkled in (this lasted for about 2 months for me). Eventually you'll start to get more and more sad, and the magnitude of what has occurred sinks in. This can last months, and for some over a year. Then you find your new normal without the constant presence of your loved one in your life, and life gets easier, but you never stop feeling the pain of loss.

    It sounds like you haven't lost anyone yet, but will relatively soon. I'm just sharing my experience with my losses in hopes that it'll take away a small amount of the mystery.

    Now, I fear for the loss of my grandparents, parents, and remaining animals. However, I find my awareness of their mortality to be a blessing (though at times debilitating). I also, similar to you, at times feel nothing about it. I just accept it. The reason I find this to be a blessing is I put forth a mighty effort to not take these people for granted. When I do have the opportunity to spend time with them, I make the most of it. I listen to their life stories and pay attention to their life lessons so I can one day pass them down to my kids.

    I'm not sure if anything I wrote pertains to you, but if it does, you're not alone!

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