Is it normal to not be able to make new close friends?

61% Normal
9 Comments

I had a best friend from childhood through middle age, and we lost touch after we both went through some personal problems. Now whenever I make a new friend they end up telling all my business to others they are closer to, and I feel excluded & betrayed. Is it normal to believe I will never meet someone who will respect and cherish my friendship above others, & be closest to me (or at least enough so that we can trust one another not to put anyone else between us)?

Voting Results
61% Normal
Based on 36 votes (22 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 9 )
  • EverythingIsNormal
    10 years ago

    You will meet a new friend some day. A kindred spirit.

    It takes time to find really good things like a great friend. But once you do it will last a long time.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you. I hope so. Funny you should say kindred spirit, because that's the term I use for my current best friend, with whom I just had a little disagreement and I'm sad. Maybe it's hard for me to express how much love I have inside because I feel it should be for a special person who has that much to give to me. and the closer you get to people, the easier it is for them to hurt you, and it hurts even deeper.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • DiamondGirl
    10 years ago

    It's hard to meet someone like the friend u lost. Most People r not trustworthy and will talk behind your back. Or do something to hurt you. I honestly think it will take a long time to find a replacement. if you can Good luck though.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    I'm not sure how common this fear is, but I want to believe that it is normal. For anyone who has had a close friendship, they know how nice it can be. However, it seems that when high school is over, you see less and less of them. You have to realize that at that point they're shaping their own lives, and yeah in some ways you'll be a part of it, but in some other ways you'll be apart from it. It really depends on the friendship, I mean I'm sure you'll still see each other, but it won't be like how it was before, where you'd see each other every day.

    In college, it's like everyone is trying to find themselves, they're shaping their own lives. It can be difficult to make friendships, I mean really close ones because that requires time, which in college you usually don't have a lot of. Plus when you do you usually spend it on homework. Not too mention that those people also have friends of their own.

    In all honesty, I feel like I've made a friend in my British Literature class this year. She's a great person, but I'm not as close to her as I am with some of my other friends. It'd be difficult to even set up a time to meet, since she's always working. But, when we're talking, just in between classes we get into great conversations, it's like we're both thinking the same thing it's amazing. But when the semester is over I doubt that I will see her again. I don't have her number and like I said she's busy a lot.

    However I imagine that that's how you make friends, ones that last more than a semester and mean more than acquaintances. You have to keep in contact, and to be honest it does require effort on your part. Friendship goes both ways as I'm sure you know.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Shugaboom
      10 years ago

      You're such a good adviser! Everything you said makes sense at all.
      Friendship can be so nice and so complicated at the same time. It'll be probably part of life, we have to deal with that, and there's nothing we can do; just to try to have a good time despite it might be a roller coaster.
      See you then!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Anime7
        10 years ago

        Well I mean it doesn't have to end. I mean really if you actually put the effort in to communicate then it could last, assuming that they are also interested in hanging out. But you are right though, cherish your friendships; the good ones that you have. I've seen a lot of posts on this site about people who don't have friends, or like the people they hang out with.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • peterr
    10 years ago

    It is always good to have friends with benefits. Guys who will suck your cock when you are depressed or lonely. Makes sense does it not?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Shnaz
    10 years ago

    You probably won't.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Shugaboom
    10 years ago

    I think it is normal. Making real friends can be so hard sometimes. Cause like you said, people takes a special part of your life and then for one reason or another, they leave you and makes you feel empty, sad, alone... However the key, is trying to not to lose the connection, keep in touch as long you both can, and of course, to try to separate or avoid fake people from the real.
    Good luck!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0