Is it normal to not be able to get over this after almost a year?

75% Normal
3 Comments

Almost a year ago.. Just a month after i had our child, me and my boyfriend broke up. Things were tense betweenus. He met a girl one day at work and started treating me like shit. So i told him to go be single if that was whathe wanted to make him happy. But to at least move out first. But nope he fucked her just weeks later. He used my rape from 3 years ago as an excuse. He has this "thing" with being "even" in EVERYTHING. Like if i left him home withthe baby for 3 hours hed disappear for 6 hours when i got back.
So becuz id been raped and he wasnt comfortable with my story.. He compared it tofree willing sex. )x

Anyway.. After about 6 months wwe somehow got back together and are trying to "work things out" "for the kids". and as much as i want to.. I dont think i can.

To him, it feels like he fucked her "A WHOLE YEAR AGO"
But to me it still feels like last week.
Even after being kick out for having low grades in school at 16, being homeless for years, stalked, molested and raped in my own godsisters apt, i have never hurt the way i hurt when he chose her. Truly it broke something inside of me. I whole heartedly didnt think he would leave me for her. We'd been thru everything and becuz she had a big butt big boobs and loved marvel movies , he threw me away.

It was supposedly a one time thing and they "didnt plan it" and all this detail he tortured me with. Ive spent days weeks months trying to delete the mental images. He was so proud of himself.... Part of me wants to work things out for the kids but the other part wants to run and hide.
I know thats not normal. But is it normal to not be able to let the memory of him and "KATE" go? He thinks ishould be over it by now ..

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75% Normal
Based on 4 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • pinkcookie26
    7 years ago

    You have a right to hold a grudge. Some people are more sensitive . I can get angry for something that happened 6 years ago. Heartbreak is a tough thing to deal with, whether or not you forgive him. You should consult with your family or draw a picture of him and tear it or whatever to feel better. You don't have to be with him for the kids, you can still live your life productively. They might not be able to be out of your mind but just know that you'll find someone to replace all the torn pieces he has left you with :)

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  • DreamCatcher33
    7 years ago

    Break up with him, find the right man, and let him help you raise the child. Make sure that you love the new guy and he loves you. This would be better for you and the baby, and would give you both a steady and good living environment.

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  • sillygirl77
    7 years ago

    My heart was breaking as I read this. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I actually think it's completely normal to feel how you do. I think he's wrong that you should be over it by now and he probably only says that or believes that to try ease his own guilt or maybe is own blame in the situation. Sounds like he's trying to minimize what he did and the hurt he caused you maybe to live with himself or some other selfish reason I bet.

    I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. You deserve to be happy and deserve better. I understand the desire to try to stay together for the baby, but I suspect it won't stick because it sounds like you can't trust him and with good reason :(. It's also unhealthy for babies and children to live in houses with a lot of tension. You both can be good to your shared child separately as well. Something to consider. I know it's not easy whatever you decide :(

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