Is it normal to need to feel pain.
I was raped repeatedly by my friends 3 older brothers from age 11 to 15 it ended when they moved away. I have ever since needed to feel the pain of my anus being stretched and have feelings of needing to be forced to do sexual favors. I often insert large objects to my butt hole to feel pain I have to keep trying larger things after a while to feel the pain. My problem now is that I feel I may injure myself because I am having trouble stretching my anus or butt hole larger but I need the pain. I also fantasize about being forced into anal sex by a gang of endowed males a mix of black and white. Has my friends brothers scared me for life? 58 now.