Is it normal to need human contact and companionship

70% Normal
28 Comments

I have no friends [never had any really], my family and myself have always been distant [we don't speak or care too]. I am alone in the world "Literally" with no human contact other than the glancing contact with people at work. is it normal to feel empty inside because of no real human companionship or contact?

I wake up and go to the gym then go back home and sit on the computer. Or go to work and interact with people but I really don't have any friends ie anyone I'd spend time with after work or talking too about anything deeper than a football game or a pair of shoes.

Voting Results
70% Normal
Based on 66 votes (46 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • green_boogers
    8 years ago

    Don't you feel relief to be alone? People are so negative, petty, and ill willed that I would never want to interact with them in person. Tranquility is easier to achieve if you isolate yourself. That's what I do.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I guess over the years I have grown to find peace in solace. Without all the negative vibes and drama people bring with them I can find and stay in my peaceful zone. I am Buddhist also. Thank you for your POV.

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  • muh-fuh
    8 years ago

    Embrace your loner persona or not. If not, get out there and practice. You may never be the dos equis guy like in the commercials but who is. Its not rocket surgery. Also see a professional, psychol or shrink, for some help and make sure good ole mom didn't pass down her obvious psychosis to you.

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    • LindyBobet
      8 years ago

      I'm in a similar situation, but I can't seem to "embrace my loner personality" or find someone who actually can help me. No therapist was ever an actual friend to me

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  • DADNSCAL
    8 years ago

    You answered your own question when you used the phrase "empty inside". If you were like Thoreau, who moved to Walden Pond for a solitary life of writing and contemplation, it would be normal. But you seem to have deprived yourself of a basic human need for no reason. Explore how this happened and what you can do to fix it. It may be as simple as joining a club or you may need group therapy. I was in a similar situation many years ago, and sought help. I'm very glad I did. Good luck.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Did I do it to myself? I don't feel like I did, although I know that I shy away from social situations. For some reason I just don't trust people and feel that they are just so shallow.

      Maybe you are right. Even as a child [say 5-6] I realized I never got any Love from my mother and actually grew to hate her because of it, and she also proved to hate me as well. Her manipulative actions kept me and my siblings from bonding with each other as she would put one against the other. Now my trust levels are very low, from growing up in a home where a mother might put thumbtacks on the floor for you to step on in the middle of the night as you go to the bathroom. Or tell your football coach you are gay and a male prostitute [which is a complete lie].

      Now I find myself in relationships with women that I am often at odds with and cold towards because of what I perceive as a lack of affection. And over time my behavior has actually made them become less affectionate...like a self fulfilling prophecy.

      Interesting

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      • DADNSCAL
        8 years ago

        A very touching answer. I didn't mean you caused it, but you're continuing it. Your situation is a lot like mine. I was abandoned by my mother at 6 yrs. old at my grandmother's, who taught me to hate my mother. It was only in therapy that I could see that I was continuing the practice with all women. I've been married now for 35 yrs. and have kids and grandkids, so it's not hopeless. Very best wishes for you. I'd like to hear how you do.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Can I assume that you have had 35 years of a happy growing and thriving relationship with your wife without the outside help of a man/woman to fill the void that your spouse can not fill?

          Or are you just hanging on to a marriage due to keeping the the image of a family for your kids and grand kids as well as financial and other reasons.

          Does therapy help to solve the problem or just bring the problem to the forefront in order to better help you cope?

          Just asking..:-)

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          • DADNSCAL
            8 years ago

            You ask a lot of deep personal questions, some of which I've asked myself. All in all, I'm glad to be married, and would not want to be alone again. As for therapy, the therapist can only help you see self-defeating behavior; you have to make changes in your lifestyle to achieve the type of life YOU want. Hope this helps. Btw, don't listen to the cynics on here.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              Thanks again for the reply and sorry if I got too personal with the questions.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Thank you

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  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    Reading this made me question if I really have friends or not I know some very nice people and some I think are only nice to get what they want. I think I have trust issues besides everything else thats wrong with me.

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  • IMissMary
    8 years ago

    My wife is Japanese, she says she was not raised to show affection and she intimate contact. She says its her culture for parents to never touch, hug or kiss their children. Nobody tells the other I Love You either. Sure enough if you go to Japan most of the older people never ever hold hands or show any type of closeness. Maybe this is why the Japanese birth rate is going down, because they are just too emotionally dysfunctional for normal male/female relationships.

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  • Alice97
    8 years ago

    I feel the same way. I'm not really alone -I have family, but they're pretty dysfunctional. I find myself getting super depressed over lack of human contact all the time.

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  • Bake34
    8 years ago

    It's completely normal to need human interaction. A human child is the only mammal that will die from not being touched. We need human interaction. I'm sorry that your mum's oxytocin levels were all messed up but that's not a reason to give up. You sound like you've had it rough. Honestly my boyfriend did too, and some of it still affects him. But I'm a patient person and I love him. He has a very hard time trusting people and it's been a long road. But he's a good man and I wouldn't trade him for the world. My point is, everyone has their shit. There is someone out there that's willing to deal with yours. I think part of why I'm so willing is he has always been honest with me. He was upfront about all his issues and let me decide from the beginning if it was something I wanted to stick around for. Anyway how you feel is normal. But you gotta put yourself out there a little. The worst thing that can happen is somebody won't like you. FYI the gym is a good place to meet people. Good luck

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Thank you for your post. It was good that your bf was upfront about his problems. You are right, everyone has some kind of issue. But it is hard to go through life on a planet with 7 billion people yet feel so alone. Think I am going to look for a club to join, that way the people will have at least one common interest. Perhaps a travel club or a club that is the same as one of my hobbies.

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      • Bake34
        8 years ago

        I know how you feel. I've been out with friends, whom I had for years, seemingly having a good time and I'll catch myself feeling more lonely than I would if is actually alone. Emotions are a fickle thing sometimes. So it might make you feel better to know that even people with a life full of other people can still feel lonely. I think a club is an excellent place to start. Common ground is a solid foundation.

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  • xfg13
    8 years ago

    Does it have to be alive? You could steal a body from the morgue and stuff it with cotton.

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  • Gaylord_Sucksacock
    8 years ago

    That's everyone's life. It's only an illusion that we actually "share" moments with other people. It's just you in your head and only you, no one else will ever be there with you. Most people delude themselves into thinking that this isn't true, but they live in fantasy land. It is possible to feel "connections" with other people but most if not all of the time we as human beings over dramatize or romanticize what the connection is, if it's even real at all.

    Try to fill your time with positive moments, because they'll be plenty of moments you'll want to forget.

    It's probably later than you think.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      People can actually 'share' moments, been there-done that. However in most cases [all with me] its hard to sustain a relationship like that only because the 'human-side' of people will eventually ruin it...

      This might be why you feel we fall back on 'fantasy' and dramatize and/or romanticize about connections with people. I would say more people than not have never had a true 'shared experience', hence fantasy is all they have. Yet to others who know it can happen and have lived it are now faced with lives that seem empty and hollow by comparison. Like living in a world where everyone eats cardboard steak and having the chance of actually tasting Kobe Beef. Its kind of hard to go back to cardboard or even pretend.

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      • noid
        8 years ago

        I moved and started a different job which is mostly solitary and I don't have any friends either but I did before. I agree with how you feel about it.

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      • Gaylord_Sucksacock
        8 years ago

        Humans are the smartest animal on the planet right now, and because of that we have feelings and emotions and other such things that are byproducts of our developed cerebral cortex.

        In the grand scheme of life none of those things matter at all, we are still subject to the laws of nature and animals don't "share" moments with each other. Like I said, it's all an illusion.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          How do you know animals don't 'share' moments. Sharing a moment is a shared perceptual experience, only communicated to others by some form of communication. Therefore unless you speak 'animal' you have no idea.

          In addition, being smart has ZERO to do with emotions or being able to control emotions. In fact intelligence and emotions are two separate and distinct things.

          FYI, albeit brief and in a somewhat negative light we are 'sharing' a moment right now. The words between the words, the meanings of the messages between our conversation brings about an emotional and intellectual response that we are sharing, just the two of us... So it might be that most people are just too stupid to realize they are sharing a moment, rather than not actually sharing one. ~wink~

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          • yu-gi-ohChampion25
            8 years ago

            wtf do you think this is? the lion king with talking friendly goofy animals??? their exactly like robots

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            • Bake34
              8 years ago

              You sir, are an idiot.

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          • Gaylord_Sucksacock
            8 years ago

            There is no "moment" between us right now. You are CHOOSING to perceive it as that, I don't see it that way, hence there isn't a "shared connection". Its just the internet.

            Animals don't share "moments". Animals don't have what we as a species label "emotions". Everything animals do is preprogrammed by instinct, ascribing human emotions to animals is called anthropomorphic.

            The argument you use for me having no idea, I can turn around and say you have no Idea because as I don't "speak" animal, neither do you.

            If human contact is that important to you than go seek it out, if it isn't, than don't bother.

            Anybody who makes a choice either way isn't right or wrong for either choice.

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            • Bake34
              8 years ago

              You need to ask Jane Goodall if animals have emotions. Don't get me wrong. I understand where you are coming from. I just sat here and argued your whole case to my boyfriend. But your wrong about the whole animals not having emotions thing. There is plenty of research now proving otherwise. I totally agree that our emotions are a byproduct of intelligence. We are slaves to electronic impulses firing away in our heads. Thanks evolution, for an uncontrollable mood swings. Although unlike you I do choose to perceive human interaction as meaningful. Yeah I get the grand scheme. I'm ok with being forgettable because of the connections that I've made in my life. You're right it is a choice. And animals do feel! :)

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