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just to clarify, I am a 19 year old girl. I read this book for the first time when I picked it up from the library a couple days ago.
i haven't read it, but i seriously doubt theres anything to scream about in there.
I'm a year younger and I totally understand. you're not sick, you just have a mind like me. Then again you might be sick... but it's normal! ^^
*spoilers* But it's about a sexual predator manipulating, molesting, and statutorily raping a barely pubescent girl whose mother dies. I understand that the narrator evokes a lot of romantic, lyrical and sensual imagery but don't be fooled by him. It's part of HH's charm, his mask to hide away the severity of his actions. HH is trying to trick you like he tricked Lolita. Remember next time you read it he's got an idea he's trying to sell you on. That he's a great, romantic figure.
There is a lot of subtle kinky content in there. I think it is fine. At least you aren't masturbating to something really weird like a garbage disposal.