Is it normal to marry someone who is admittedly an alcoholic?

39% Normal
7 Comments

So far, the only problem is that he drinks all the time. No abuse, no violence, no DUIs. But he is an alcoholic, and he's admitted to that.

His parents are alcoholics, too, and they've kept their lives in pretty good condition, but there's something about the "A word" that keeps sending red flags out to me.

Am I just being stupid by marrying an open alcoholic, or is this not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be? I probably drink more than I should, so am I being a hypocrite?

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 33 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • clevelandashkenaziatheist
    9 years ago

    It's normal, but it's a lifelong uphill battle with many struggles such as domestic violence, relapse, and associated medical problems.
    Also, the question with you is important. Can you control your drinking? Alcoholism is the inability to do so (in simplified terms). If you're going to be married to an alcoholic it will be important to judge yourself very critically in this area. If you can, stop drinking and encourage him to do the same. A dry marriage would help both of you in the long run.
    This is a big deal.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I'd like to think I can control my drinking, but after I confront him about it, I'm going to try a 30-day sobriety to make sure.

      The more I wake up to this situation, the more repulsed I am at the thought of myself drinking. Also, the liquor store I go to sells non-alcoholic craft beers. It's amazing how quickly good taste takes a back seat when you're poor and you drink.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Sounds like the classic "broken wing syndrome" to me. You are NOT going to be able to fix this guy, no matter how much you love him. He will just drag you down into his horrendous life of misery and degradation.
    Run, run as fast as you can. There are other men out there, to be sure.

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  • VirgilManly
    9 years ago

    There are plenty of alcoholics who don't drink and/or work towards sobriety. Nothing wrong with marrying one of those.

    BUT..."the only problem is that he drinks all the time"
    That is someone to stay clear of.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I'm not quite sure what my boundaries are, but I think if he cut back, I could deal with him drinking more than is "socially acceptable." But he drinks a lot more than he did when we first met, and I get a lot more used to it every month that goes by.

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  • poopsmith
    9 years ago

    Long as he's not abusive & can hold a job i don't see a problem

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    It would be stupid to marry an alcoholic who isn't going to AA meetings and trying to quit drinking. They're called "red flags" for a reason!

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