Is it normal to love two men?

59% Normal
12 Comments

I have a relationship with two men and they know about each other. I spend time with, share affection with, and am intimate with both of them. For some reason, neither seems to mind as long as they have me. I love them both.

Basically, I left my ex for the first guy. Then my ex became my side man. Then when my main guy found out, he didn't get mad. I started telling them all about each other. Eventually, they met and actually hit it off as friends. I have separate relationships with both men.

Is it normal?

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 29 votes (17 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 12 )
  • 1username1
    7 years ago

    For many people, I'm sure this wouldn't be an acceptable intimate situation, but as long as everything is honest between each party and no one is getting hurt, then there's nothing wrong with this situation. Here, it sounds like everyone knows what is going on and is ok with it.

    Usually, when someone has an affair outside of an existing relationship, what makes it wrong is that the agreement -- explicit or implicit -- was broken, that someone didn't keep their commitment. It's [not] the existence of a third person in the relationship that is itself what makes it wrong.

    If someone ends up getting hurt from this, then it's either because they weren't honest about being ok with the situation or they changed their mind afterwards (in which case the other two people can't be faulted, and perhaps not the first person either -- we all reevaluate things, right?). I hope it continues to work out.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Thank you. So far, neither seems to mind. Sometimes we even all go out together. They won't both be in the bedroom at the same time though. That was part of the agreement.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • 1username1
        7 years ago

        You're welcome. It takes a lot of maturity on all sides to have a relationship like this.

        For whatever it's worth, in college I had a classmate friend who lived with his girlfriend and during one period they were inviting over another woman for what sounded like threesomes (if I remember right). In private, the girlfriend told me that she just didn't feel totally comfortable with having another woman around and that she found herself "acting like a jerk" towards the other woman during dinner or whatever. Understandable.

        So hats off to the two men your with for being able to keep things emotionally in balance.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    Yeah, it's normal. You're polyamorous.

    Monogamy isn't for everyone, and it's great you learned this and it's working out for you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • 1username1
    7 years ago

    Another thing I wanted to mention.....I suspect why the situation above didn't work is that threesomes can feel like a comparison contest for two of the individuals, both in appearance and performance. That can create negative feelings and so the three-way relationship as a whole can quickly unravel from there.

    I'm speculating, yes. But it seems true that when a lover becomes jealous of a third party, it isn't likely because "he/she cooks better than me" or anything like that. There's almost always some kind of sexual attraction concern at the root of it, it seems.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      That's why you never compare them in bed or other sensitive areas. One of my lovers is a better cook and we all admit to that. Lol. I just let them know that they each have their own personalities and talents and that they're both very attractive. I never bring up sex with one with the other one on the off chance it gets competitive.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Terence_the_viking
    7 years ago

    Just as long as you know who got you pregnant.

    I can just see it. All three of you on an episode of one of those talk shows about fucked up people.

    Guy A you are not the father
    Guy B you are not the father

    The plot thickens.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Tolerance of others isn't your stong suit Im guessing.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Terence_the_viking
        7 years ago

        Hehe if you look closely i'm just trying to warn you.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • CreamPuffs
    7 years ago

    Polygamy is fine as long as it's mutual.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • BlackyHancock
    7 years ago

    Kind of normal. I once had a similar situation where I became involved with a woman in a no strings attached arrangement who I found out later also happened to be seeing a friend of mine. We both knew about each other, but once I got feelings for her I decided to end it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • mrbrownfinger
    7 years ago

    They're aiming for a threesome to video them anally destroying you and covering your face with their gentlemans relish. I expect to see you on youporn any day now.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1