Is it normal to love the chemicals they contain???

I used to always say no to drugs before I moved to a certain school. I've never done any of these stuff before in my life but I eventually gave up under pressure and started taking pills at school with the wrong friends. I know this will always end up with bad concequences and blah blah blah. I didn't come her to argue with anyone about my choices; I came to ask about my reaction with a "Blue Rhino" or "Blue Dolphin".

I have no idea how common these are but they're not E-pills. There were some other ones with different names and colors but this was the first time I got these.
Well once I took it with some water, I started getting hyper, eyeballs twitching sideways, clenching my teeth, somewhat "connected with my feelings", dry mouth, heart beating faster, and shortness of breath.
I can tell when it's all over but the only stuff that stayed for the rest of the day (I took 'em at noon), were changes in my personality such as being hyper, talkative, giving great life-advices to friends, and being funny and friendly. I only believe this was all unusual because when I took others, I'm usually very depressed with suicidal thoughts. I'm not someone who's always vivacious and happy. My personality is based on my depression, but I don't commonly think about suicide.
After getting high on it, I was so happy to live and all the sh** some people were saying about the "real me" didn't bother me none. I know illegal drugs have always been the worst solutions for many individuals, but these blue ones got me thinking that maybe I should rely on these. I don't want to take anti depressents because I don't want to let my mother know. She doesn't even know I'm depressed.

But my question is, was it normal to think that I should rely my happiness and life on certain pills even when I clearly know the concequences?

I feel so ashamed of myself. If I didn't move here, I would have never done that shit, but it felt so good!