Is it normal to love someone you should not love?

76% Normal
4 Comments

I've come across one of those situations that people normally would labeled me as a scumbag. Yes I've cheated on my wife with another woman.The relationship between my wife and I have been shaky for a couple years now, we've married for 6 years and have 1 kid together. The level of intimacy has reduced to zero, for we've even stopped lying next to each other on the same bed. It has become that cold. I loved my wife and more importantly my kid but it is difficult when in return I feel so unwanted. Then one day, I met the 2nd woman in my life at work, we started emailing, chatting, and finally seeing each other. After 6 months, we've fallen deeply in love even though she knew I had a family. We would be happy at times of seeing each other and then we would become deeply depressed because we knew deep inside that the road we had chosen would lead us to nowhere and one day we would eventually be separated. Yet times after time of trying to break up, we would be back into each other's arms. We both know what we are doing is wrong, and the whole world will stand against us. Has anyone been through this?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 29 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Male or female, if you neglect and ignore your spouse for a lengthy period of time, they will try to find love wherever they can get it and there will always be at least a person or two around that wants to give it to them.

    Being married does not give anyone permission to stop trying to win the heart of their spouse, yet so many people do just that then complain when their neglected spouse falls for someone that DOES act like they are special enough to love.

    Yes, you are normal. It doesn't make your situation right, but it does make it understandable.

    Your girlfriend won't leave you because even if she doesn't say so, she'll always be hoping you'll leave your wife for her. She obviously doesn't fully understand the deep bond that comes with marriage, despite you falling out of love with your spouse. Marriage is so complicated and most single people don't get it until they've actually experienced it.

    You need to make a choice, then go at it with a whole heart, not one you share with two women.

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  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    I can't see you fixing the relationship with your wife, So you may as well set her free and concentrate on your new relationship. Your most important consideration is your child, he/she needs reassurance that it is in no way their fault. And love, they need love too.

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  • Dad
    11 years ago

    This 2nd woman has no morals.
    You have a wife and 'kid'. She should not have built a relationship with you unless you had divorced and moved out.
    I say stay away from her, as she'll do the same to someone elses family one day.
    Home wrecker.

    Whilst still with your wife and kid you should try to resolve the issues and get marriage guidance. Otherwise break up immediately.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    I would be really sad and depressed if my unofficial husband moved on to another relationship without trying to fix our relationship first. You have already hurt your wife in pretty much the worst way a husband can hurt a wife (or vice verse). You need to figure out how to wrap this up for the best so she can begin to heal and either start a new life without you or accept what you did to her (Yes, I think it's only fair that you tell her what's been going on). I think Pudlle_Fish's comment was most helpful.

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