Is it normal to love someone who has been violent in the past ?

If you were my sister, I would have understanding of you continuing to care, but would never want you in the same room as that person again.

In my opinion, you need to run away from this guy as fast as you can. But, I understand you because I'm in a similar situation, except it's my older brother.

I'm living with my half-brother and he's treated me so badly in the last 2 years. He has very bad anger issues, and he often yells and cusses at me, and he's even hit and pushed me down a few times (though never hard enough to leave a mark or bruise). There's even been some sexual abuse, but I won't get into that.

He also regrets his behavior toward me, and he apologizes all the time. Still...I can't seem to let go of this anger I have toward him.

I do love him as a brother, but I also somewhat fear him. I've thought about moving back home with my parents, and I would have done so a long time ago, but I haven't because I'd miss my brother to pieces. Just the thought of leaving makes me want to cry, I'd miss him and his hugs so much. He says he likes hanging out with me and doesn't want me to leave, so I feel a bit trapped.

Sorry for going on and on... Just needed to vent a little, and I also wanted to say you're not alone in feeling this way.

Yes some of us girls love bad boys we are our worst enemy

MBPD, Miami Beach Police Department?

I guess my question here has be: has he assaulted you? I know people say they can't help who they love, but I couldn't love someone who dared raise his hand at me, girl. Hell, I don't tolerate a man raising his voice to me. As my mom says, *Colombian accent* "that is not love!"

I dunno about you personally or your life especially with regard to your family of origin. What I do know is that people tend to internalize whatever experiences they have growing up with their families. There was certainly some dysfunction in my family, but there was no infidelity, physical abuse, or drug and or alcohol abuse. So for me those bad behaviors are deal breakers and basically just kill my love for a partner a like a can of RAID roach spray kills them roaches dead. For me the behaviors I listed are basically inexcusable. Maybe you grew up around that sort of thing and accepted it as normal on some unconscious level. There was some verbal and emotional abuse in my family though, and people basically said what they felt.

I also wanna say that if you feel the need it's okay to grieve the relationship. I just wouldn't ever reconcile with an abuser. I don't care if the abuser is a man or a woman or if the person is struggling with drug and alcohol addiction, if the abuser just came back from the war with PTSD or has some other mental illness there's no excuse for abuse!

I hope you can get to feeling better, and I highly recommend that you find a good therapist. I also think you ought to check out Codependents Anonymous.

Please don't judge before you read the whole thread !