Is it normal to lose interest?

59% Normal
4 Comments

Some backstory - I'm 21 and I've been with my girlfriend over half a year. She means a lot to me. A couple of months ago she asked me to spend 2 weeks with her housesitting, which I was very enthusiastic about. However, I barely went out to socialise during this time and even after I came home for the next few weekends I found myself going out to see her each night rather than catching up with friends.

I started to feel suffocated and told her that I needed time to myself and time to see my friends. I realise that a relationship takes work but I don't want it to dominate at the expense of other friendships that I value greatly.

Right now, it's exam time, which entails a month of cramming for 12 hours a day. I need to work hard during this period and I tend to isolate myself when under this kind of stress. She's the type of person to worry a lot and I think that she feels left out and very anxious about our relationship because of the amount of time I'm spending studying.

She also doesn't really have as strong a friend group as I do, in fact she's adopted some of mine - including my best friend's girlfriend. While I welcome her having a good relationship with my friends I don't think that it's healthy to grow too close because of the divided loyalties that can arise.

This is exactly what's happening. She rang my the best-friend's-girlfriend up last night, crying about her insecurities and now my friend has been extorted into ringing me up and giving me relationship advice. I resent that he's forced to counsel me when I feel that it's none of their business.

I know she's upset and feeling isolated, but I have little choice and have given a great deal of my time to her previously at the expense of education, which is now catching up with me. I feel that she's being particularly neurotic considering that I really spoiled her for our six month anniversary and am again going with her on an overseas holiday in less than a month.

All in all I feel that it's unattractive and that I'm starting to lose interest. I really like her and it pains me that she's suffering but at the same time I think I've been clear about the fact that I need time to myself occasionally and that I have to work at this time. I don't want to end the relationship immediately. I would rather wait and see how things go with a relaxing holiday but I feel like my hand is being forced when my best friend rings me up with relationship advice.

Is the way I'm acting wrong - am I being unfair to her? Would every girl get so anxious in such a situation?

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 22 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • tarebear19
    13 years ago

    She's just being clingy that's all. It's still a new relationship.. Her behavior should improve over time as you guys bond more and start to trust more. You really need to focus on your school, but should not isolate yourself in such a way. Try to find time for both. Tell her you'll spend the morning with her, but you need the rest of the day to prepare for the exams. I think that's fair...

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  • PwrpufGrl
    13 years ago

    why not try letting her be in the same room with you when you are studying. obviously, you don't want her bothering you, but she can read a book or study herself...if she is feeling shut out, she should feel good about just being near you....the others are right though, you don't need to isolate yourself, even for school. you still need breaks

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    Also yes any woman would feel anxious if you totally shut her out for many hours and don't bother to even talk to her once. You need to get over your issues with shutting yourself away from the world when you are stressed because if you don't you will lose her eventually. Not that you care though as you don't take the relationship seriously enough yet

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    To me it sounds like you need to find a girl who is just as not interested in you as you are this girl. Me and my man love spending time with eachother every chance we get. The fact that you feel suffocated and need space shows that the relationship is not that important to you.

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