Is it normal to long for a friends w/ benefits relationship?

The past few weeks, I have been considering a friends with benefits relationship. Not just considering, but actually longing for it. I am still a virgin. I have had my heart broken twice within the past 2 years. I am an attractive young woman, though I tend to give men the impression of being too cold or uninterested. I never considered myself the type to want a FWB relationship, but I think that getting my heart broken a second time has led me down this way of thinking. Anyone else experience such a promiscuous (and perhaps radical) reaction to emotional pain? How common or normal is this?

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 101 votes (82 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • poppyclub

    Its normal to think this way...But don't go with this FWB option. I strongly not recommend that.

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  • jbmitchell999

    You have to do what feels right to you, but with so many people who've had FWB recommending against it, I would listen to them.

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  • none11

    and sex before marriage among Western Girls have gone down in percentage because everybody is aware now!

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  • missme42

    Ooh this is totally right up my alley. So I was never in a relationship, and never wanted one really. Then I met a guy, we became friends. We started talking about sex, and we were both virgins. I didn't want to, he did, but didn't pressure me. Then I wanted a relationship, I didn't. For whatever reason though, I still wanted to sleep with him (NOT because I thought it would make him want a relationship, I know better than that!) So we talked about it for forever. And I think that it was good because we were friends, not romantically involved, so I worried less about the awkward stuff. But I wanted to make sure I was in control, what we would do for birth control, what we would do if I still got pregnant, the entire thing. And when we finally did, I felt completely comfortable, so it was perfect. But it didn't really "mean" anything to me. I had always planned to just lose it to someone older, who of never have to see again, so I had no expectations. It wasn't important to me. But if it is to you, probably not the route to go. And, be aware that one of you may develop feelings. We didn't, so it was fine. But be careful!

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  • teddygraham(:

    it's completely normal knowing your history but you shouldn't want to have your first be with someone who's not going to care for you afterwards or think about your feelings. i think your first time should at least be with someone you like as a person and have some feelings more that way it's more memorable in the long run

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  • mtnw

    FWB relationships are only for very mature people who have had their marriages, families, etc., and are looking for trusted sex without all those other things. probably good for those 50 and above. for young people, who haven't really lived, don't do it. it's not apt to work out.

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    • rdtul

      I agree with mtnw.... you have to have a really solid view of yourself and realistic expectations from a partner. If you're not able to be alone and comfortable you'll find yourself in a one sided relationship, and get very hurt in short order.
      Wait for a while, get with a person who you match, and get into a long term relationship before you commit to having sex. It changes you, and you'll want a companion that respects that.

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  • ChazWilk2000

    Sorry to not have read any previous comments, but I wanted to offer what I can. When I was a younger lad, not that I'm an old one (24) I lost my virginity to a friends with benifits and I want to promise you that you will regret it. I know it hurts having your heart broken, as I have had mine broken a few times, and I hate to say it, but its always going to hurt, just as much as the first time!!

    So my advice is don't do it. Wait, you will find the right guy, which will lead to the right moment, but trust me, FWB is not worth it, not for anything.

    Today, I have a FWB, and I want to be with her, however she doesn't trust me because we are FWB. Hope this helps!

    CW

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  • catsarenice123

    DON'T! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T DO IT!

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  • justfaceit

    I agree with subfreakmt! I've been in a friends with benefits relationship, and trust me... If you end up falling for the person (which could happen, because there's the chance of becoming hormonally attached to the person as well) it brings 10 times MORE heart break than just your average breakup/ rejection.

    Also, you need to love yourself more... i see that you're taking a lot of outside influence and bringing it in... Don't do that, there are better ways.

    Look up Rori Raye and read her blogs, they're absolutely perfect. In the side bar of her blog website there are all different categories and ways to deal with things... She also has several programs, one of which is called "the modern siren" which I plan on getting. I feel like I'm reading about myself at age 17 when I read your post... So I know what you're going through, take it from me and look her up.
    I feel much happier about myself now.

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  • iminmyunderwear

    Yeah, it's totally normal; especially if you've got your heart broken before.

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  • mango

    Don't do it. FWB is not worth it. :( I did it once, it broke me.
    Also, since you're a virgin, don't you want to do it with someone who's meaningful to you?

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  • subfreakmt

    i highly do not recommend going the FWB route...not only is it dangerous health-wise (std's) and risks pregnancy, but its not what i think you really want, i think you should stick with being single, for now...and focus on something else, IE: school, a hobby, etc. something to get your mind off having a broken heart, we've all been there, trust me, but it would be much better in the long run if you just save yourself for the right guy! (this is coming from a guy, seriously, do not do FWB, you will regret it!)

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  • none11

    I am a guy and I only tell you DON'T DO IT, you will, not only be heart broken but you will also feel guilty of losing something,let's call it a gift for your husband, don't have sex before marriage, because it also makes you cry everyday for doing it, all the girls who had sex before marriage have regretted it and they became more religiously concerned because they want to forget what they did. 60% of americans considered themselves as born again Christians because they knew that the religious path is better for you and your health. PLEASE DON'T DO WHAT'S NOT GOOD TO YOU!

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