Is it normal to live this way or keep fighting?
Hi all,
I have been dating this guy for about 3 years now, we live together and everything was going on well until this girl popped up in our lives. I am worried because of the way they communicate. We have over 10 business and personal email accounts, and we share the passwords. I know all his passwords and he knows mine.
Some few months ago, we bought a new domain name and it was mainly for him to build a website and post his portfolio and that kind of stuff. Apparently, he opened a new email address under that domain name and kept it a secret. Carelessly, he logged into that address on his laptop and forgot to logout. I was checking out something in his laptop when I found out about it. He was seated next to me, but seem like he had forgotten all about the account.
He has used the account for about a year now, and only came clean when I confronted him. He had been communicating with this chick all that time. He tells me that he is not hitting on her, but I found one of his massages asking the chick when she will be online and they chat coz he wants to hit on her.
This really drove me nuts, and I couldn’t believe what he did. He is strong and every time I ask him about this chick, he hits me. The other day he gave me a blow to my left side ribs, and up to now (over six months), that side is still painful. The only explanation he gives is that ‘they are friends’. He continues to hide stuff about this chick from me and this has made me to completely refuse to trust him. I don’t trust him anymore and I feel like I am pulling away from him.
Right now, I feel like I hate him with all my breath and might, but I still love him. We have been through a lot of downs. From sleeping hungry to bathing with hair shampoo and brushing with salt or at times laundry bar soap, but now things are OK. We lived on less than a dollar daily, and am happy we can manage to spend about $200 daily without compromising our budget.
As I am writing this, I feel so much rage towards the man I love, and have chosen to sleep on the couch. We have just had another argument about this chick coz he is acting like a teenager falling in love. I don’t want to lose him and I want to trust and love him again like I used to. With all the respect I have for him, I have never contacted this chick and I feel like I am being pushed to it because I know her email address and her FB username.
My question is, should I go ahead and contact the chick? And if so, what can I tell her? Or, should I pretend that is OK? Please help me. I apologize for writing such a long query. Thank you all for listening and replying.
mweni