Is it normal to like your man to cheat on you?

I know this isn't normal, but I really want to know if other women ever do the same thing, or even just have a similar fantasy. Am I a total weirdo out here all by myself?

I get incredibly turned on by my husband cheating on me and then coming home to tell me about it in detail. I especially like to experience the taste and smell of other women still on his body.

I know there are men who like to share their wife or to be cuckolded, but I have never met another woman who gets turned on in quite the same way I do. I've known swingers who like to watch each other having sex with other people, or who engage in husband swapping, but those are coupled activities. It's not what I'm talking about.

I'm not a swinger. Actually being there when he cheats gets me jealous and fearful. I start to try to control it and negotiate it. Also, I don't want sex with anyone else. I was a virgin when we met, and he is still the only man with whom I have ever had vaginal sex. I'm not a female cuckold either because that's more of a masochistic situation in which the cuckold wants to feel like they're being punished.

That's all completely different from what I enjoy. What turns me on is the cheating fantasy, not swinging, and being told about it after he's returned to me. Afterward, what happened is no longer in my control. Any urge I feel to vie with the other woman doesn't interfere with his pleasure, but adds to it with me, and his attention is directed only at me. Then,the more unhibited they were, the more I get turned on. I vie to be better than her. I revel vicariously in his excitement, and if I get to talk or write to her, with her excitement too. It's like watching a porno, but the actor is my man. I love him to tell me she was great but I am better. I adore sharing what he did by smelling and tasting her on his body.

I want him to tell me exactly what they did, what it felt like, what she smelled like, what she said, what noises she made, how she reacted, and how he reacted. I want to hear what she liked most and what he liked most. He was gorgeous when we met, and he's great in bed. My friends envied me. It's like showing him off.

I'm totally addicted to this. Nothing gets me as excited. I was never able to have an orgasm until I discovered how much it turns me on to share him, and it is still the only way I can climax. If I can taste and smell her on him, I can have multiple orgasms.

He's free to find his own partners, but I like finding women for him because it gives me a bit of control, and helps start my fantasy. After that, he's on his own.

Am I a one-of-kind lunatic? He's older now, but still yummy. My friends think I'm nuts not to lock him up. But it turns me on, and he seems happier than many other husbands.

Please don't just tell me not to worry about what others think. I don't. But nobody likes to feel like a complete freak either. Is my abnormality normal at some level?

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 547 votes (454 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • darren3

    He is the luckiest man alive.

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  • Fanye

    I have the same fantasy. Its very addicting. Thats how I ended up here. I googled key words and found this and what you describe is spot on to my situation.

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  • accserv

    Hi!! I too am like you!! I enjoy it incredibly when my man cheats on me openly and brags about it. I have been searching this topic for a while looking for someone who also enjoys it like I do and this is the first time I come across it. I'm a 51 year old Hispanic woman athletic but curvy and very active sexually. I live with a younger man who didn't have as much experience as me and I nudged him to open up about what he liked. It turned out he loves big girls with very large breasts and told me that's what gets him most excited. I said I was open to threesomes with a girl like that but apparently what excites him is seeing these girls on the side and getting carried away enjoying her without me there. I told him the only way it would be something we shared was if he told me before going, describing her, telling me how bad he wanted it and told me everything he did and bragged about how good it felt. He also comes home without showering so I can smell and taste other women on him. I enjoy how excited he gets when about to go see them. While he is seeing the girl I am home masturbating having orgasm after orgasm until he is done, gets in the car and calls me to start telling me about it. Gets home to brag some more and sometimes helps me masturbate while telling me how good he orgasms when cheating on me with girls. He tells me my breasts aren't big enough to satisfy his needs and that he tells the girls that, that also turns me on a lot. He and I agree I should help him find more girls for him to cheat on me with but most women find the situation weird so its not easy. Feel free to contact me about this post.

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    • Bumholelover

      I need to fuck you a.s.a.p

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  • Itzzabella

    I think in the deepest corners of our minds we all do enjoy being cheated on. I guess it may be cause the fact that our SO becomes irresistible to others is appealing to us. In my case we have an agreement, he can play around as long as it is safe and away from home. The fact that he is able to play around so much and still come home to me and do me as well makes me melt. I guess not everyone admits to it cause it is taboo .

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  • Cuquean2

    I thought I was the only one, too! I fantasize about my husband fucking another woman and cumming inside her, complete with noises and moans. I also fantasize deeply about him going down on a woman while he's at work, and getting her off just before she sucks him to orgasm. Sometimes in my fantasy, I walk in on him cheating. To see any of this happen would be an intense turn on. We've been married 23 yrs and my fantasies have been the same for even longer. I'm hopeless. I want to be punished, I want him to Make me watch him fuck, I want him to call me while she's sucking him. I have no idea why I have these fantasies, but indulging in soft swinging is a turn on for years! I also have to hear about his sexual past, every detail. Then I go in the other room and make myself cum while I think about what he said. You're not alone, we all have different things that make us hot as hell. Ni hope your fantasy cums true, and if so, I'd love to hear about it!

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  • Funntimes

    Finally I'm not the only women that gets off on this. Up till now I was worried that getting my man to share his fantasise was in some way wrong. I also worry that by telling my dirty little secret has made him think less of me. He reassures me this is not the case but I find the more into it I appear the less interested he appears to be. If he's out & has met girls the description of their time together is vague. Even more so if I keep asking. I remind him that in order for this to work we need to ensure we both get turned on. When he talks about my girlfriends I now find myself checking their bodies out and watching how horny it makes him feel, I surprise by inviting the girl over. I ask him to flirt with them when I'm not around & we both observe her reaction. Our favourite fantasy friend always talks about sex when wasted & while she was talking about sexual things he comes back with a gift from us both that was news to me...and it was a dildo.

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  • Daddysgirl26

    First i am like you. It is normal i guess in some circumstances. My husband cheated on me (it was an online affair, she lived in another country) but i was turned on by it. So much that i began hinting him into fucking other woman. I had to be very subtle about it cause he would have been weirded out. So i began leaving condoms on his car, and coming home late. Calling him saying i was not home. Etc. Eventually i caught him cheating again. That night we had the best sex ever. I could still smell her on him. Now he does it once or twice a week. I love knowing he gives pleasure to others.

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  • mzzcherry

    I am the same way but my husband is a little freaked out by it. I told him that I want to watch him fuck another woman and that it turns me on when he cheats on me. I really want to see him fuck a woman from the back while i play with her by laying under her while he pounds her ... mmmm i hope someday i find a woman willing

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  • JakeSanchez

    This blows my mind! I am a happily married to a gorgeous woman whom I adore and have total 'hotwife' and 'cheating wife' fantasies about. She knows about my fantasies and often indulges me and plays along, knowing how horny it makes me - leading to her getting right royally f*cked! She loves it! We have been married for 20 years and I can only 'get off' thinking about having sex with her only. She is an addiction to me. When I can't be having sex with her due to work or travel, I can't stop thinking about her getting f*cked by other men who just have to have her! It took a while to relax and figure I was normal in my thoughts, knowing it was not considered normal. I accept who I am an own my feelings.

    So, this prompted me to wonder if woman ever had the cheat fantasy as well. In researching this very limited topic, I found myself here reading this experience and I am pleasantly surprised. I often wish that my wife could feel this way you do, to understand the way I feel when I think this way about her. I don't need to really sleep with another woman, but would gladly tell her stories that I am, give her dirty details to excite her, but she is not there yet. Maybe in time she might get into this mind set, but for now it will just have to be me with the cheating spouse fantasy.

    Btw, what is normal anymore anyways lol?!!

    Jake S

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  • happycookies

    You are normal. I allow my husband to do the same. He usually plays alone, I prefer it. Makes it more exciting if I'm not there. I have been there once and played with the girl a little but I love watching them more. They take a shower together with me in the other room. I love seeing him hard when they come out knowing she has been sucking on him and him touching her. She and I are friends and do things together but she is his playmate. I love this life and it works great for us and we both love our sex together after he has been with someone else. He loves to tell me about it as much as I love to hear every detail. He learns new things about his body with each girl. :)

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  • Fanye

    My problem is that I can't seem to get him to understand that this turns me on...so he will indulge with a little in my ear talk about things he has done with women, whether they are true or not, I really do not know, but I get super excited. Lately, however, he kind of blows me off and I am not sure how to say "hey I LOVE THIS STUFF..." I think it makes it less "cheat-y" and that may be a problem...does that make sense?

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  • kittenkaboodell

    It pays to advertise. As one gets older, it's what one needs to do. Why shouldn't I do so while I'm seeking an answer. I not seeking to change what I do, I am seeking to know if there are others who feel the same way. There is no reason not to seek to make personal contact with anyone interested while I'm at it. I would be silly not to do so.

    I'm flattered by your obvious interest in me and my situation, and the time you've spent reading everything I've written. Is the source of that interest that you share the same desires, but have not yet been able to act on them and you are seeking to know more about the real expericnce, or is it because you just don't have anything better to do? If it is the former, I'll be glad to tell you how this all developed. You too, can email me.

    If you notice, so far no female has stepped up with even a fantasy that is similar to what my husband and I are doing. I'm not 15 yrs old with limited life experience. I've been aro0und long enough to know I'm unusual. The question "Is it normal?" can be interpreted several ways. If it only means that you truly don't know if a majority of people are like you, then there would only be posts from deaf, dumb and blind 14 year old children here. Most adults and many teens have enough life experience to know what is conventional and generally accepted practice in our society. If they don't they can find out by reading Seventeen magazine or do a simple Goodgle search for advice from experts rather than amateurs.

    If there are to be more than a handful of posts here, the question "Is it normal?" has to be interpreted as a request for validation and a seeking of like souls, as much as a quest for valid information and normality.

    Apparently that is the way the people who operate this site interpret the question, or else 75% of the posts here wouldn't have been approved by the moderator.

    Things can be unusual, unconventional and normal at the same time. Perhaps I should have started my post with "I know it's unusual" or "I know it's unconventional" to avoid confusion with the various possible interpretations of the word "normal." If you must nitpick, consider my post to have started this way, "Iknow it is unusual, but is it normal . . ." I would have begun that way in the first place if I had known that I was going to be dealing with the volunteer Internet posting police. :-)

    So go ahead, email me and I'll tell you and your wife my husband and I began, have handled, an enjoy our lifestyle. Maybe if you ask nicely, my husband and I will even relax your wife about giving your fantasy a try and the proper mental attitude to take toward it.

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    • kelly121285

      Yes i think it is a quiet normal fantasy among women however women voicing their fantasies seems to be a bit taboo.I too get very turned on by the thought of my husband cheating i only come out about my fantasy two years ago although mine is a little different to yours i would rather watch him f*** the women it has not happened as yet my watching but i am currently pregnant and i found a few weeks ago my urge to watch him has got stronger so i told him it is the perfect time for him to do this as i will not want to join in, anyway a situation arose my husband went on a boys weekend to watch the football and i found out he went to a whore and i to my surprise found myself really turned on not angry or hurt just annoyed i was not there. Anyway i questioned him all about it wanting to know why so he told me it was because he got nervous at the thought of not being able to perform or complete the task i want him to do so he wanted to see if he could just treat a women the way i was asking him to so instead of me getting mad i found i got wet and asked how he did her and all the fine details and now over the last two day because of his honesty about it i am only wanting to see him do it more i have even gone as far as making clear to him he crossed a boundary of mine by doing on his own so his punishment for this is not that he does not get me but rather he can only fuck me the way he did the whore and yes with condoms, him doing me like this has been a big turn on the fact that i am not allowing him to have me emotionally and physically as my lesson to him is that he must not be a dog he is to be open and honest so although my fantasies are a little different as i have boundaries set and i want to watch him then have him i too am not interested in sleeping with other men. no we are not interested in swinging or the cuckold thing its more about being to gether for as long as we have and realising that fantasies and fulfilling them together. all i know is over the last few days and this situation it has brought us even closer emotionally i can't say sexually as our sex life has always been hot even what we call an average fuck or love making with each other is not so average if you get what i mean. anyway i to thought there was something wrong with me but found this and being able to talk about it only makes it more and more stimulating.

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  • Permissiontofuck

    You must be my twin lol. My husband and I have been together 20 years and I have always given him permission to fuck whoever he wants whenever he wants as long as he comes home and shoves his dirty cock down my throat for me to suck lick and smell and clean... I tell him he can just have fwb, affairs, or just fuck around. It’s all his decision. It makes me happy to be able to be a good wife. He takes good care of me and deserves to be happy.

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  • arielstark95

    Wow! I am so relieved... I am 19 and am madly in love with my boyfriend, as he is with me. I've never felt such an intense love and he says the same. We consistently reassure each other of our love, acknowledging that it is infinite and unending. I have recently discovered as we've grown closer, that I am turned on to him being with other girls while I watch... I then discovered the idea of one of the girls going over to please him while I'm not there is ALSO a major turn on, but simultaneously, it hurts me intensely... I, too, like the idea of being unaware of the girls' visits - I appear to have a "cheating fantasy" it seems. Although, I also enjoy hearing about the visit in detail and envisioning it in my mind.

    I trust him and our love without question. I have no reason to fear or be jealous. I, too, enjoy a woman's body. In any of these scenes, she is just a toy for us. I am his one, true love - his entire world. I know this. But I am still bothered by my lack of understanding of these fantasies.

    I've been over analyzing these turn-ons and trying to understand my own mind in this regard. I am questioning why I am this way (if I have a psychological problem) and if it is morally right to act out these fantasies of simply play them out in my head. I have been obsessed with this and am constantly contemplating, with my boyfriend as well. I don't want to risk jeopardizing a relationship that means everything to me. Maybe continuing to allow these thoughts or events to take place will become a problem in some way or maybe it represents feelings of unworthiness or insecurity. I want to genuinely know and comprehend WHY. Why would I want to share the man that I love with every essence of my being? I have no desire to remotely touch another man.

    At least I know, now, that I am not alone. If anyone has further insight on this matter or my situation in particular, please share.

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  • Str8outanyc

    Ok so I been reading all this and I have pretty much read a perfect description of my wife. I am so confused I don't know what the hell to do so hopefully I can find some sort of guidance here. My wife of 22 years claims that she gets extremely turned on for me to be with another woman sexually. She wants to just sit off to the side and watch. She even tells me how many times she wants me to make the other woman climax. She has watched me in the past with her cousin and a couple of times secretly with some other women. Secretly not to myself, but to the other women. She has also had me call her so she can listen to the whole thing in the past. She's askibg for this once again and swears it's what she wants. Here's the issue on hand. While she was telling me to go get laid in the past and let her listen in and so forth I found out about 4 years ago that for the past 18 years she had never lost contact with about 5 of her exes and even slept with them over the years behind my back. I was heartbroken and still think she asks this of me as a way for her to justify herself doing things with other men behind my back. She has always told me I'm the only one for her and blah blah blah and I truly truly believed her and never in my life Worst nightmare thought she would ever do what she was doing behind my back. She kept in contact with 5 other men on a regular basis for almost 20 years behind my back. Problem is, I love this woman to death. She is telling me she wants me to have a steady girlfriend on the side and wants me to sleep with her in our own bed. What is really going on in my life. Anybody got anything for me? I will answer any and all questions you may have.

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  • bubbles999katie

    i think i would prefer a threesome w one of my single friend (make sure std free)and my husband but not just somebody stray seems to dirty and id be worried bout std s and him straight up leaving me cause he fell in love with somebody else either cause better sex or because i wasn't giving him enough attention that my husband requires. Cause i would think it shows that we don't care enough about and it seems like it wouldn't be a relationship anymore just f buddy's.. or am i misunderstanding something? Sorry peace here just thinking but might be wrong, trying to get people's in put on subject to see if maybe i might be wrong in this situation :)

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  • Bumholelover

    you can be my miss anyday x

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  • stcqam

    Wow. You are about as close as i can find to being like me. Only thing is i dont want him to know i know. I want him to think it is his secret. I like your way too.

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  • Hmm..as time goes on, it seems more believable that this is a scam judging by the coments you've directed towards others..encouraging them to email you..repeatedly hahaha

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  • I think many more people than you think have similar fantasies...regarless of gender. There have been times that my wife has admitted this one to me, though we both know she'd be too jealous to actually go through with it.

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  • chewy

    if you know this isnt normal then why would you ask if its normal?

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    • kittenkaboodell

      To find out whether anyone else feels the same way. I know a majority of people don't want their mate to cheat on them, but as I said in the article, it may be a normal desire among more people than I think. I gather you not only don't think it's normal but don't want to read about it either.

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      • chewy

        i guess if it doesnt bother you

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  • kittenkaboodell

    OMG, if my husband is the luckiest man alive, that means I'm the only woman alive you is like this!

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    • darren3

      I am sure that many women have that fantasy, but it's not the norm. Just like men who fantasize about their wife doing it (me included). Wish my wife would find me women to F.

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  • jensapa

    Weird...

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