Is it normal to like a guy even though he is a jerk?

54% Normal
10 Comments

I like a guy in my friends group. We have hung out alone a few times before. He likes all the same music as me and we have sort of bonded over it. He is extremely intelligent and has a great sense of humor, not to mention he is attractive.
The thing is, he is a total jerk sometimes. He seems to need to talk about himself all the time and bring people down in the process. Plus the fact that he can not make a commitment to any one girl.
I try to tell myself this but I guess I like him too much to ignore.

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 52 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • AbnormallyAwesome
    10 years ago

    Sure, confidence always works.
    But don't be that girl.
    Don't be one of the many broken hearts he will leave behind on his self-gratifying jurney to loneliness.

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    • SHAKEStheClown
      10 years ago

      Über true! :-)

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  • Paradiddle
    10 years ago

    I'd just like to add that at some point in life, its not all fun and games. Varying expenses need to be paid and things have to get done. I have seen an alarming rate of people who have just settled for such delusional abusers in my own family and it did nothing but cause major problems down the road, trust me. If you can see the problems now even, it will only hurt you later and you MUST have enough self respect to not do that to yourself. A jerk to others will be a jerk to you and no other trait is worth that. A respectable and dedicated one though will take care of everything like it needs to be when it matters most and won't immaturely try to harm others in the process.

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  • Management_sucks
    10 years ago

    Grow up.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    It seems you are either so desperate for a relationship or you are a self destructive person that this jerk will do.
    Obviously you can see this and have grave doubts or you wouldn't have posted this.
    Don't waste your time; there are plenty of nice guys that share your musical tastes and interests. Be patient and choose wisely.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You can find a better suitor who isn't a jerk. Don't just settle for someone because it may feel convenient.

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  • Mersaphe
    10 years ago

    Totally normal, most girls seem to love jerks.

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  • Mjhilleb
    10 years ago

    I guess I am attracted to this type of person. I went out with an intelligent, interesting, fun loving guy for two years. He turned out to be extremely depressed and psychotic. He was mentally and physically abusive ans The reltionship completely turned my life upside down. I just don't understand why I am continuously attracted to these guys that are intelligent, but degrading and mentally unstable. Is it because I have such a lack of self Esteme that I need to fill it with the idea of confidence that ends up being false? I really don't know where to go from here

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    • Management_sucks
      10 years ago

      It's hard knowing how someone really is until you spend a lot of time with them.

      For example you wrote
      "I went out with an intelligent, interesting, fun loving guy for two years. "

      It seems those were the qualities you liked and you didn't find out he was

      "He turned out to be extremely depressed and psychotic. He was mentally and physically abusive "

      until later.

      Once you found that out you should of either tried to help him and fix your relationship with him or if he was really messed or you unhappy then leave the relationship.

      It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong up front.

      Anyway I think most people in life are not very quality people so I'd recommend you take your time before jumping in a bed/a relationship with a guy so you really get to know him - the real him before you get too attached or involved.

      Girls that do like a guy when they know he's a jerk do suffer from low self worth and are also probably very immature still. They don't know that those guys aren't worth being involved with and good guys are much better and provide a better relationship experience.

      That's part of the learning / dating process I suppose so you or others shouldn't feel down on yourself for making those mistakes. Just slow things down and try to get to know a guy before you get involved with him sexually and emotionally.

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  • Sterly2Pearly
    10 years ago

    This sounds like a crush.. Just keep fantasizing for now.. then once some time passes you'll realize, "wow, why was I even into him.. He was such a jerk..." Then hopefully you'll find someone good for you :)

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