Is it normal to just want things to go back to normal after war?

Ok so I went to Iraq, got blown up, probably should have died but I'm still here. I got home and I'm paralyzed down part of the left side of my body pretty much just can't open my hand. I get home and my wife of five years all the sudden wants to start partying and staying out late at night and pretty much being single while I'm sitting at home with our baby. Then she starts talking to a whole bunch of guys and they are callin her late at night and texting her yada yada. So after about a year of the craziness she calms down and starts acting ok again but there was this feeling I couldn't shake like she was tellin lies. So I make friends with one of the guys she's been talking to and he tells me that she cheated on me with him and this a year after it happened: I confront her she tells me it's true and I decided I would stay and try to work things out. Well it's been a few months and I feel like she wants nothing to do with me sexually at all I mean months go by! I never sleep and almos every night i lay awake and just hope she will start showing me some love: I mean I cook, clean, go to school and work and she works maybe two days a week and sits on Facebook the rest of the time. I want things to just go back to normal I mean I been to war and was Hirt and then came home to more war and am hurting worse. Really I wish I had died in Iraq and never knew all this. Why can't I get past this or get past her. I am full of love and compassion but it's just not returned and I just can figure out why I mean why do girls like guys who are jerks I am not one and will never be one so that's not an option! I left the NCO when I left the army!

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Based on 35 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • MauriceLikesChicks1015

    Sorry this happened to you bud and I thank you for your service...no offense but why did you join the military in the first place if you knew that things such as this could happen to you in the first place?? Parts of my family have served the military and everything seems out fine for us so far..

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  • SSGMACRET

    I have tried marriage therapy with her but she wouldn't go after the first time because she didn't like what the therapist said. I should have known something was going wrong when she wouldn't fly to my units family day before we left for the sandbox, or when she wouldn't come to the hospital when they medivaced me to DC. Either way I pretty much have just blocked all feelings and am floating through life. PTSD is definately a factor I did all I could but still lost some joes and I regret that more than anything. It's funny we all gather together while we are deployed talking about how great life is going to be when we get home, I swear I have always tried to love right and be honest and up front in everything I do. I care for others, I did my job over there, I take care of my daughter and wife even if she does me wrong. I am always there for her no matter what has happened. I feel obligated to because I said I would. We made vows, she obviously broke them so now it's either I get my head out of the clouds and find me testicles and get out, or keep feeling like I wish I had died when I took that blast!

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  • You risk your life protecting our country. (Thank you very much, I honor you for it) yet she cheats. Mabey she thought you wouldn't make it back. I mean you did say you were in an explosion; and not many people do make it back from deployment. She probobly wanted to find a man and start another relationship if you didn't make it back. It's sad to hear what you've gone through I really wish I could help more but I'm just guessing. Good luck.

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  • GET RID OF THE FILTHY WHORE!!! UGHHH!

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  • tori

    My heart goes out to you. THANK YOU for your service. You are awesome.

    She probably didn't know how to deal with her feelings and didn't know quite how to handle the situation when you got home. Maybe she felt lost also. People do strange things out of fear. I don't know. I'm guessing.

    My best to you and please get back to us on how things are going. You have a cheer squad at my house.

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  • MadMar

    Sorry to hear about your situation and THANK YOU. I have lived in a military town majority of my life and have heard many horror stories of military relationships. Some people just don't have it in them to wait and be faithful. (my sister is one of them) Nothing would make me feel prouder than having my spouse come home to me after being overseas. You should sit down and talk with her ask flat out whats going on and what she wants. If she is standoffish then there is your answer. Ask if she would go to counseling. You deserve to be with someone that is going to love you back and show it. There is no reason for a woman being out all tge time with other men. Having a few make friends. Cool as long as she brings them around and they befriend you rather then be kept a secret. Also finding out a year later. I'm sure it makes you think about what else or shall I say who else she was doing. I hope it all works out for you.

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  • sammij7

    Thanks for doing ur duty for our country and I'm soo sorry she had to do that to u!! I would never do that to anyone!!! My advice is just to find a new woman someone who cares and appreciates u for who ur!! :)

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  • littlemsEMOtional

    If I could I would shake your hand. Thank you for your service but im sorry you had to come home to this.

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  • rayst

    Fucking bitch, i understand how you feel man. I hope you'll meet a good, caring woman.

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    • Do you know how he feels? is your side of your body paralysed? did you get in the middle of an explosion? were you risking your life?
      if not then you dont know how he feels there is a difference between what this guy has gone through and normal cheating situations. If you havent gone through those things then you havent been through this guys situation or understands how he feels at all.

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  • This just shows that women lie when they say they just want love. You dont deserve that and she doesnt deserve you.

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  • TeresaBarry

    I agree with americanhoney. It's sad to hear what your going through and I wish you the best of luck. I don't have any words to help you. All I can say is that I thank you for being a soldier and I have a huge amount of respect for that. Nobody deserves that. I'm sorry your wife has done that to you and if I could I would hug and salute you. Good luck.

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  • americanhoney

    I'm sorry this has all happened to you. I wish I had the right words help you cope...all I can say is thank you for your dedication and service to our country...and that as a man and a soldier you deserve a hell of a lot more respect than what your wife has given you.
    Please stay strong, and I hope with all my heart things work out for you.

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