Is it normal to invite your ex to your wedding?

25% Normal
10 Comments

My fiance and I are getting married in a month and a half. We've been in the process of making a guest list. However, the problem is that we can only afford to have about 75 guests. We've been arguing over & over again about who we're inviting for the past 5 months. Now we've agreed on 64 people, leaving 11 more to add.

For some reason, he's been pushing having his ex from 2 years ago to come. Mind you their breakup was MESSY, they left off on a bad note. I asked why he wanted her to come, especially since they haven't spoke (to my knowledge) since the breakup. He said something along the lines of him wanting to go in this marriage with "no regrets". He said many other things but "no regrets", stuck out to me and made me extremely upset. We argued and he left the condo. He came back about an hour later and just ignored me completely. Gave me the silent treatment and now it's been going for about 5 hours now.

Am I wrong for finding this whole situation strange? He's making me feel like I'm wrong for not wanting her to come... On top of that, why bring her when we only have 11 people left to add on the list? Why waste a spot for an ex? What if I did that? I truly wonder how he'd feel if the shoes were reversed.

Voting Results
25% Normal
Based on 12 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • CountessDouche
    4 years ago

    Holy shit lol. You're having such a big, expensive wedding, and arguing, and fuck...inviting people that make your future spouse uncomfortable & then not talking. The red...the flags...the red flags

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    • RoseIsabella
      4 years ago

      Lots of red flags!

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  • einexile
    4 years ago

    My sister invited ALL her exes to her wedding. But she'd had amicable breakups with them and the groom had been in the same circle with all of them. This is weird, but it's not worth getting weird back, especially not with the intensity many in the thread are suggesting.

    Your fiance probably just doesn't know what the fuck he's doing and feels like he needs to be friends with this woman in order to put her behind him. Who knows what he's thinking? And that's the problem, he should be more open about what he's thinking. The main problem here is he's talking in code and platitudes. Tell him he sounds like a greeting card and demand the absolute truth as a condition of inviting her. And then she needs to first be brought into your social circle and you need to be comfortable with her. Be open to this if you can, but again only on the condition that homeboy accepts your right to veto her in the end.

    Does he have the right to veto your guests who make him uncomfortable? Maybe you should add a few and see how he feels about that.

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  • gaz3912
    4 years ago

    Getting married is a choice, no one is pointing a gun to your head.

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  • altowolf
    4 years ago

    Don't marry him.

    Seriously though.

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  • Korpral_varangian
    4 years ago

    It could be normal if they were friends in this situation it isnt. arguments are fine just be weary be careful I think its to prove to himself that he can go into another marriage and it won't be the same depending on reasons for breakup can affect the level of this

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Think about it. You fought with your fiance...about inviting his EX to your wedding.

    And you're marrying him because...?

    Edit: Oh, and no...it's not normal to invite one's ex to their wedding.

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    This guy sounds like a real jerk! I certainly wouldn't be in a rush to marry this guy!

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  • Tealights
    4 years ago

    Silent treatments? Poor communication and storming off? Sounds like you're making a huge mistake marrying this guy. I know you're not going to leave him, but at least postpone the wedding for another year to make the ceremony as perfect as possible (there's no harm in that because marriage doesn't define your love for one another).

    Also, inviting an ex so to have no regrets makes zero sense. What regret will he have before getting married that involves seeing his ex? Does he want to see her one last time before getting tied to one woman? Does he want to show off? Does he want to fuck her one last time before making the vows? Any trustworthy guy would be like, "Oh, yeah the break up was messy, but we recently reconciled over text/etc a few months back. She's coming to wish me well," and then proceed to show you the text conversation or call her up right in front of you. For him to get so defensive and then angry with you over such a strange idea that definitely needs explaining is very suspicious.

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  • jethro
    4 years ago

    I think you need to get a new fiance. I forsee great problems in your future if you don't.

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