Is it normal to in conflict with yourself?

My boyfriend of almost three years and I broke up in december.

I kept going to His mothers place. Because they invited me over every weekend. to help them do house work and then party. We would always get loaded and have a great time.

The people who lived there, were his mother, step father and step sister. But the step sisters boyfriend was over every weekend and so was my ex's brother, his fiance and their child. so as you can see it was a full house of drunken idiots every weekend.

Now, here is where it gets confusing. I have liked his step father. For quite some time. But i was going to take that secret to the grave with me. But apparently Alcohol makes you talk. here's how it went that night.

The step father and I were in the basement shooting pool. When he said something.to Which i replied "No comment". then the step father kept asking what i ment. after an hour of his asking i came out with my deep dark secret. here's the kicker. He felt the same way.

to let you know. I am 20. so he's not a pedofile or anything. I am legal age.

The step father and i were very close. Almost like best friends. we always talked to eachother about our issues, our problems or just anything bugging us. we like the same things hate the same things. we get a long very well. its insane how compatible we are.

Ok there is a back story to this. He was very unhappy in his marrage,and wanted a divorce anyways. We would talk every weekend about how miserable he was and how he tried to fix things a million times but it never worked. So now he is going through a divorce. He told his(now ex, well going through the process)wife how he feels for me. It has been total hell ever since. Everyone on that side hates me. Which i can understand. but thats not my point.

My point is, is it normal to love someone twice my age? Who was married? to my ex's mother?

the situation is VERY tence and messed up. I have even recieved threats and harrasment.which i have taken care of. I am under so much stress. Its crazy. and i have NO IDEA what to do. Any advice?

I know i have ruined a family. I feel terrible. But i love him. I am so torn between my morals and my heart. I really am lost. can anyone help?